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Today is my little sister’s birthday. She would have been 44 years old. Happy heavenly birthday, little one. It’s hard to believe that it’s been five years, and we haven’t been able to celebrate your birthday together. I know you are here with us everyday (and my session with Medium helped me realize that even more), but it still hurts that I can’t call you up on the phone and hear your voice.

little one with cake

This is a hard day for everyone that knew you, but I know we should celebrate the years we had with you. We need to look back on the memories and cherish all the laughs that we shared. You brightened up a room and our hearts every day.

I know this will be a hard day for my mom. I hope she has a good cry and then goes out doing something she loves to celebrate her giving birth day. She misses you so much. Maybe you can send her an extra sign from Heaven today to let her know how magical it is up there and that you are okay.

mom and sister at steelers game

Birthdays can be exciting, but they also can be hard. As a little kid you can’t wait to get older! Then as an adult you keep wishing you were younger. (Or at least feel younger!) I feel like sometimes people are reluctant to tell you how old they are especially as that number gets higher. Why? Why should we be embarrassed as to how old we are? Why should we be reluctant to say a number of how many times we’ve been around the sun? My message to you is be loud and be proud of that number because there are some people who never get to celebrate that day.

My dear sister, we love you more than you will know and miss you twice as much. Life on Earth is hard without you but as you know we can’t quit living because of you dying. We know you’d love to be here with us but your calling came early and you were needed in Heaven. I know the best way to honor you is to live our lives with happiness, with grace, and with kindness. The best way to honor you is to let our hearts shine as yours did.

Love and miss you, little one, happy birthday!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

April 2023 will forever hold a special place in my heart. We had the pleasure of hosting my brother-in-law, his girlfriend, our niece, and nephew at our home in Fort Myers. I was so excited they were coming for spring break. I hadn’t seen the kids since Christmas, and I couldn’t wait.

spring break fam

We had so much fun with them. They got here on my Birthday, which is the best present that I could have wished for. They were tired of being in the car and ready to swim. They immediately jumped in the pool wasting no time sitting in the house. After a while, we decided to open my presents by the pool. We Facetimed with my mom who was enjoying a mini vacation of her own with her cousin out in Las Vegas. I got a new driver and two new hybrids for golfing and a bottle of tequila. Perfect presents and a wonderful start to Spring Break.

That evening we went to a country concert at an outdoor venue called “Alliance for the Arts“. It’s a great place for concerts and any outdoor event. Plus, it was right down the road so we took the golf cart and two bicycles. It was a fun ride there and home! The bands were really good. They had Hayden Coffman, Cody Cozz, Drew Parker, and Kayley Bishop. Great up-and-coming artists. We danced and laughed and talked.

When we got home the kids decided it was time for a night swim. We could hardly keep them out of the pool. Once they got out we had some birthday ice cream and a Bailey’s and chocolate vodka nightcap. Jeff’s specialty (next to his famous margaritas). The kids were exhausted and went to bed. The adults decided it was time to sing on the two karaoke microphones my friend Dani sent me for my birthday. We stayed up way too late but had so much fun!

spring break singing

I don’t think my niece was very happy with us (for keeping her up with our singing) but it was a great beginning to our week. The next day we loaded up the bicycles in the truck and went down to Fort Myers beach. We rode around and showed them some of the devastation of Hurricane Ian. We played at the beach and swam in the Gulf. The kids had a great time as did we. We rode the bikes back over the bridge and then of course had to stop at the Love Boat for ice cream!

The kids got back in the pool when we got home. It was an early night because we wanted to get up and get on the boat the next day. We packed sandwiches and snacks and got out on the boat. We went to Sanibel Island and anchored off shore. My brother-in-law found some sand dollars which are all over the Gulf floor. We tried to go to Lover’s Key but the tide was too strong and it was still closed from the Hurricane.

spring break boat

We rode around the backside of Fort Myers beach and saw a huge stingray jump straight up and out of the water! We saw dolphins and they even played in our wake for a few minutes. It was another beautiful day on the boat.

Overall, it was a great spring break. We played card games and Rumikub. The kids swam all hours in the pool. We had so much fun giggling, laughing and getting to know each other better. I hope to make this spring break an annual event. (just hoping my brother-in-law feels the same way!) Maybe one day we can have the kids down for Camp Aunt Stacy!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

 

If you have been reading my blog you know that my sister passed away a little over five years ago. We all still miss her everyday. I wanted to create a way that her memory would live on but I wasn’t sure what to do. Last year, my husband and I decided to create a memorial scholarship at our hometown high school.

We created a scholarship in which we wanted female high school seniors who displayed the characteristics of my sister to apply. We asked for candidates that had good grades and attendance, who were involved in sports and/or activities, and who were pursuing further education. We also created an essay question they needed to answer. Each year we will change the essay question. We also established a committee to review the applicants and their essays. The committee is made of five people who knew and loved my sister. We also are blessed with three people at the high school who also knew my sister and who are helping us to spread the word about this scholarship and what it means.

We have been honored to receive the applications over the past two years. The girls who have applied for this scholarship have written some pretty amazing essays. Even though they didn’t personally know my sister I feel they understand who she was. The two winners have expressed what an honor it was to receive the award. We wish them the best of luck in their future endeavors.

Time is moving on and my sister’s children are growing up fast! I hope to share this scholarship award with them and each winner’s essay. I hope they enjoy knowing a little bit more about their mom and the wonderful, small town where she grew up.

If you’d like to read more about my sister and the scholarship winners please visit this website we also created to honor her.

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

Tuesday, May 23rd, marked 11 years since we lost my dad. He had been battling stage III lung cancer for nine years. He had a tumor wrapped around his pulmonary artery. They could not operate but he wouldn’t have let them anyway. It’s hard to believe he started fighting cancer when he was just 52 years old.

He went through chemotherapy and radiation like a champ. He lost his hair and eyebrows for a brief period of time but that was it. He continued working and drove several hours a day to work and to chemo.

In his nine-year battle with cancer, he seemed to be in remission while other times he seemed tired and in pain. I am not sure how cancer works, I just know it sucks. My sister and I were living in Virginia at the time. We went home as often as we could, but we both worked full time and had made our lives in Virginia. My sister taught five years and was getting discouraged with it. She decided to go home and finish her nursing degree in 2007. In 2008, she moved back to Virginia because dad was doing really well. As he went up and down so did we. We talked to other doctors, and we got second opinions. I was really hoping that the John Kanzius radio frequency transmitter trial would takeoff and that dad could be a part of it. The researcher passed away in 2009, and I haven’t heard any more about  it. The radio waves seemed promising to say the least. It would use radio waves to destroy the cancer cells without destroying the human body.

In May 2011, the tumor grew bigger and my dad’s lung collapsed. He was rushed to the hospital, and we rushed home from Virginia. He hung on and a few days later he came home in Hospice Care. He was on oxygen full time, and we were not sure how long he would make it. All we knew was that he didn’t want to be in the hospital anymore. He wanted to be home with his family, on his couch.

My sister and I had to get back to Virginia so we could only stay so long. My dad continued to amaze us. In less than a month he was turning the liters of oxygen down. He looked like a normal person again instead of a shell of the man he was. At this time my sister was engaged. She was getting married in September, and I think my dad was determined to be there to walk her down the aisle.

That summer we were in amazement. Hospice was wonderful and got him portable oxygen tanks so he could travel. He went to Florida and to Virginia several times. We had no doubts he would make it to the wedding.

September 10th came and there was my dad all dressed up in his tuxedo. We were so proud of him. He didn’t want to pull his portable tank down the aisle so he had it in the back until it was time to walk my beautiful sister to her groom. Then someone took it to the front pew for him. He walked her down with no oxygen. It was amazing. He was such a strong man. What an inspiration!

dad and sis

As time moved on, the cancer continued to beat him up. He was up and down and my sister and I were home and not home. We knew “the call” would be coming soon we just weren’t sure when.

I came home for spring break that next year. Dad seemed pretty good. We did errands but he got weak and very tired easily. I went home but about a month later we got the call. Mom was very concerned. She wasn’t sure how long he would last. I was able to take some time off so I headed home.  He still seemed okay the first few days I was there. I told my sister to stay home and come up on the weekend. He tricked me for sure. She got there late that Friday. They all laughed and talked in the kitchen. But then about 5am dad woke up and couldn’t breathe. We had the priest come and do the anointing of the sick. The next day he was quit talking and went mute.

His brothers came to see him but he seemed to be a shell of himself. I guess the cancer had spread into his brain at this point. I am not sure. It was so sad, and we didn’t know what to do. We waited and waited. Saturday, Sunday, Monday, into Tuesday. My brother-in-law had to go home to work. The rest of us stayed with him in the living room, sleeping on the floor, praying, waiting for him to be released from the pain.

Then it happened at about 11:45pm on May 22 he took his last breath. The Hospice team did not arrive until after midnight so his official day of death is May 23. My mom, my sister and I held his hands and told him we would be okay. He finally let go. He was out of pain. I didn’t want him to go but it was heartbreaking seeing him him in so much pain.

all 4 of us

My sister was pregnant at the time, and I know my dad wanted nothing more than to be a grandpa. Although he didn’t get to see my niece here on Earth I know he watches down on her from Heaven. I know he is so proud of his two grandchildren. I am sure he sees himself in both of them. They got his sense of adventure, his determination, his hard work ethic, and his sweet smile.

If you have ever been in the same room with someone when they pass onto the next life, you know what it is like. Even though it’s been 11 years, I can still picture the exact moments we shared as a family for those final days. I am grateful that all four of us could be together. It must have been how my father wanted to go.

It still stings every May even after 11 years. If I let myself think about it I could cry on and on. I could be angry and upset that his life was taken at the young age of 60. I could be upset that he didn’t get to enjoy retirement or be the most amazing grandpa. I could be bitter that he didn’t get to walk me down the aisle to My Prince. And honestly some days I am all of that, but I know I need to be grateful. I need to be thankful for the 36 years I had with him. I need to be conscious of how I live my life, and I need to not take life for granted. Life is short, my friends. Don’t wait for something to happen. Make it happen. Be you. Be inspired. Be strong. Be adventurous!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

I hope you all had a wonderful Mother’s Day this past weekend. It was a time to remember and honor your mother as well as be honored yourself and celebrate all the different types of mothers in your life. I hope you had some time to reflect and celebrate those that mean so much to you. But even if your Mother’s Day didn’t end up being picture-perfect like in the movies, I hope you found a ray of sunshine in your weekend.

This past weekend I was alone. As you know, I am a Pilot’s Wife, and my hubby is on a very LONG trip. I spent much of my time binge-watching the show “Firefly Lane” on Netflix. It’s based on a  book by Kristin Hannah.  If you’ve read the book then you know the plot and the outcome. If you haven’t watched the series, I highly recommend it. I thought it was fantastic. I cried my eyes out and was pretty emotional for a few days, but I thought it was really well done.

I don’t want to spoil it for you, but I am going to if you keep reading. The book is about two best friends who go through 30 years of friendship together. They go through all of the ups and downs of middle school, high school, college, first jobs, boyfriends, break-ups, marriages, divorces, kids, work, etc. They go through it all yet their friendship remains the rock they both need until the end when one passes away.

This movie brought up so many thoughts in my head. It showed the two girls’ relationship with their mothers. It made me think about mine. It made me think how you see these relationships on television but it’s just not the same in real life. My sister and I were always close to my mom but we were also teenage girls. Seeing this show made me realize how difficult mother-daughter relationships are. There is so much emotion and expectation on both sides. We say things we don’t mean. We don’t understand each other. We are too much alike but we can’t see it, and we battle each other instead of truly trying to understand each other.

stacy and mother

I couldn’t help but think about all of my girlfriends, and how lucky I am to have such special memories with each and every one of them. But it especially made me think of my best friend. She has been there with me through thick and thin since I was in seventh grade. Even though we haven’t lived in the same town since 1994 we have managed to stay close. We may not get there for all of the big things but we are there for each other. She gets me and I feel like she may know me better than I know myself. Last fall, I was blessed to be in the same city as her for a month. It was a month of reminiscing about old times and creating new memories. The month was absolutely amazing. I felt like we should have been in the movies because we danced and sang just like the Firefly Lane girls (but to Taylor Swift instead of Abba).

mothers best friend

In the series, one of the friends gets an aggressive cancer. It hit too close to home and of course, made me think of my sister. I know it’s a show but it made me wonder what I could have done differently in real life. What could I have said differently? Could I have squeezed her more times more often? Could I have moved in with her or at least moved back to the same city? I wondered why I didn’t write her a letter or take her on a trip. It made me feel like I wasn’t there, and it crushed me. It made me want to go back in time and spend the night at her house. It made me want to go for a walk with her and sit on the back deck and take it all in. Why can’t we do that??

Therefore, the movie wasn’t really great for my emotional well-being, especially with my husband being gone. But I need to remember that it was just that, a movie and a book. The lines are already made up. Everyone knows what to say in difficult times. Everyone knows what to do and it all works out in the end because that’s how movies and books are made.

So I am sad and I miss her and I wish she was here to celebrate Mother’s Day and to help me support our mother. But she’s not and all I can do is cry when I need to cry. All I can do is look at her pictures and tell her I love her. All I can do is remember that through my session with the Medium, she has no regrets, and she is happy in the spiritual world. And she will be there waiting when I get there. Then we will dance and laugh and all the memories will come flying back to me. And I will know exactly what to say just like in the movies.

stacy sister and best friends

Until then little sis, please send Signs from Heaven, I could use a few right now. Please know that I love you and will do my best to be the best Aunt Stacy to your little ones that I can be.

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

About two months ago, I had my very first session with a medium. I had never really thought about talking to one or trying to connect with my lost loved ones, but after two different people mentioned the word medium to me in a week, I figured it was time to try.

According to Wikipedia, Mediumship is “the practice of purportedly mediating communication between familiar spirits or spirits of the dead and living human beings.” I have heard of mediums before but I guess I wasn’t really sure if they could truly connect. Even though I believe in spirits and angels and that there are signs from Heaven, I thought many mediums were scammers who took advantage of others, especially those in deep grief.

But it all started the first week of January 2023. We stopped by a friend’s house, and she was telling me how she reconnected with an old friend who was a medium. I was intrigued and for the first time, I wondered if she would be able to connect with my family.

my family

The next week, at my volunteer training at Valerie’s House, I met a wonderful woman. She told me she and her mother were having difficulty with the passing of her brother. They contacted a medium named Jake Samoyedny. My friend said he performed the session via Zoom and it was awesome. She said it was totally worth it and helped both of them so much on their grief journey.

After hearing of this experience, I decided I needed to give it a try. I wanted my mother and me to do it together because, like most mothers who have lost a child, she continues to struggle with the loss of my sister. I scheduled a session for the last week in January when my mom would be in Florida, and we could do it together.

A couple of days later I started thinking, and I decided I wanted a session by myself before ours together. We were out on a ski trip in Taos, NM so one morning I decided to skip skiing and have a Zoom call with this medium in New York.

Honestly, I was blown away. He was able to connect with most of my family. Gram came first. She said she was very grateful to Jeff and me for taking care of her. She said she never wanted to be a burden and that we didn’t make her feel like one. The interesting thing is burden is a word Gram used all the time. So it had to be her! The medium said Gram was in the spiritual world just bragging about me. That made me feel so happy. She also said that she was ready to go at the end, and that I didn’t need to feel any guilt. She and grandpa were happy and singing up in Heaven. My heart was relieved.

jeff and gram

Next, my sister came into the call. She too had faced the fact that her time here on Earth was done. Her job in the spiritual world is meeting babies who have passed too early and don’t have anyone up there to “receive them”. She puts her arms around these young spirits and welcomes them into the spiritual world until their families are found. I expected nothing less from my gentle-hearted sister.

sis and baby

My dad was there too because he kept flashing the Steelers logo, but at the time I didn’t realize it. He was always quiet so I wasn’t surprised that he let my gram and sister do all the talking. Just his presence was enough for me.

dad and sis

Some of the things Jake, the medium, knew I couldn’t believe. I know much of my life is an open book and there is a lot of information on my blog. Now he had a week to Google me and learn all about me but does he do that for every person? And what if you don’t have an online presence? He didn’t ask me for any information, but he knew so many things. It seems the spirits portrayed information to him such as Gram and Gramp’s dates of death, my ex-husband’s name, a guy who passed in our 20s, my sister as Wonder Woman, my uncle’s Polish name which was Stasiu and that Jeff was right by my side supporting me in this life. I just can’t believe that he could have found some of that information.

gram jeff and stacy

Towards the end of the session, the medium gave me a bit of much-needed therapy. He told me that I need to be a Yes, Woman which is hard to believe that I should say yes to more! But it seems I am clearly on the right path. He also told me to keep writing. He says I may even be able to write a book! Therefore, one of these days look for me on the bookshelves.

After my session with the medium I felt like I was flying! I felt amazing and unstoppable. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. My family was happy and at peace. They had no regrets and didn’t feel I needed to regret any actions I took or didn’t take. I needed to believe that I did the absolute best I could for them. Now I need to believe that I need to do the best for myself and my family. Jeff and I try to live our lives to the fullest and it gave me encouragement to continue our path. It also made me feel like I really could write a book that people might buy. Honestly, I have always wanted to be an author. It must have been my Honors English teacher, Mrs. Erdos, who put the love of writing into my brain. I couldn’t wait to start.

Whether you all believe there is something out there or not, I have to believe I will see my family again. I have to believe they are happy and content and having the best time wherever they are. I have to believe that even though the process of dying may be devasting, death itself is instant and the soul is lifted up into a state of unconditional love and peace in the blink of an eye.

If you have a lost loved one and would like to see if you can connect, I highly suggest using Jake. He records the session for you so you can listen to it over and over. He seems to understand the spiritual world and can help if you are struggling with the loss of your loved one. He says there are signs that they send us. Make sure you look for signs of your lost loved one. They truly are all around us.

Photo by Omkar Jadhav on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

Today marks two years since we lost Sweet Gram. I miss her and her beautiful smile so much. If you have been following my blog you know that I posted a letter to Gram that ended up being spread out over four different posts. I guess I had a lot to say to her! That was my way to help myself on my grief journey. My therapist also suggested that I write a letter to myself as if it were written by Gram. My therapist thought it would be helpful for me to hear what Gram might have to say. So here goes. My version of a letter from Gram and what it may be like there in Heaven.

My Dearest Stacy,

I am beyond devastated to hear these words in your letter. I am so sorry that you are struggling to this extent. As much as I wish I was there with you on Earth, I am having the most magical time here in Heaven.

You see in Heaven I am young again, just like when I always told you I felt 22. My body has no aches or pains. My skin is wrinkle-free and my hair is blond and beautiful as it always was. I have reconnected with all of my lost loved ones. Both of my brothers and my parents are here. I visit them on the old family farm from time to time, and we lay on hay bails and look at the clouds in the sky.

My best friend, Dorothy, is here. So many nights we have sat up laughing and reminiscing about all of the mischiefs we used to get into. We talk about the nights we drove to Pittsburgh and all of the young men we were enamored with before we met the “ones”.

My son, Stanley, is here. He looks so good. He, too, is happy. He is sorry that he didn’t get a chance to tell us all goodbye because the aneurysm took him so quickly. But much to my relief, it happened so fast that he didn’t feel any pain. He wants to thank you for making the effort to spend time with your cousin, his daughter, and my granddaughter while we traveled up and down the east coast. He hopes you will see more of her in the future. She is a great mother, and he is so proud of his grandchildren and what wonderful young people they are becoming.

Your grandpa is here. He can’t believe everything you made me do but he knew deep down that I could keep up. He wants me to pass along the message that he is so proud of you. He is proud of you for sticking in the education field. He is proud of you for sticking it out until you met the man of your dreams. He is proud of you for doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. He is proud of you for everything that you did for me even though he was terrified the day you took me to hike Cooper’s Rock!

Your grandpa and I go dancing every Saturday night. We sing in the choir on Sunday mornings and at various events here in Heaven. We eat dinner with your dad and sister every Sunday like we used to. We have seats saved for all of you at the table but we know you have a purpose to fulfill there on Earth so we wait. We get to see what you are doing every day hence we don’t miss a thing. And if you look closely we send you signs that we are right there by your side.

Your sister is struggling the most. Although her body is not ravaged by cancer anymore, she misses being there with her kiddos. She is glad that you visit them as much as you can and thinks you are a good influence on them. Keep sharing your life with them. They are growing up into the most precious little beings. She is proud of how athletic and smart they are. Although she hates not being there by their side, she is glad that everyone is so happy. She sees joy in the kids’ eyes and is glad the kids have so many supportive people in their lives who love them so much. She is happy that her husband has found someone to share his life with. It is good for the kids to see their dad happy. Your sister is beyond grateful that your mom has been there to watch them grow up and to help them with any daily struggles.

Your dad, Marvin, and Patty are acting like the foolish party animals they were in high school. They are having a ball. They sit around campfires and talk about the good ole days. Marvin realizes that he made a few mistakes and wishes things would have been different. He is proud of his three boys and the men they have become. Patty, like your sister, struggles that she had to go to Heaven when she was so young. How she wishes she was there when her boys hit all of their milestones. She sees their struggles and hopes they feel her presence because she is right beside them every day. How she wishes things were different but she understands it wasn’t meant to be.

Stacy, please do not beat yourself up about the last few months of my life. My body was tired. My mind was getting frail. I enjoyed those last five years with you and Jeff more than you could ever know. Traveling up and down the east coast with you was the best time of my life. I actually think I flew with you more in my last 5 years than in my first 91.  I loved how we got to see family and friends. Thank you for taking me along with you. You have amazing people in your life. The fact that ALL of them welcomed me into their homes was a blessing. I never wanted to be a burden on you or your friends. I know many times I didn’t want to stay but it was only because I didn’t want to embarrass you or myself. I’ve told you time and time again “starość to nie radość” which means “it’s hell getting old!”

In conclusion, please know that I love and miss you more than words can say, but I will wait to see you until your work on Earth is done. Family is very important and you have so much to give, but always remember you need to take care of yourself first. Life is short even if you do get to turn 96 so smile, laugh, inspire, and live the life you are meant to live.

Love, Gram

There you have it. My version of what Gram might say. Remember life is short so LIVE, LAUGH, and LOVE with all you have. Fill your heart and your time with those people who fulfill you and fill your spirit. Let go of those who bring you down and deflate you. Life is meant to be lived so live it to the fullest!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

As you all know, I lost my sister almost five years ago. It still stings every day, and so many times I want to call her, ask her for advice or just give her a big ole hug. But then I realize I can’t. And it hurts, really hurts. But I have to pull myself together and move forward. Even though she isn’t here I can still imagine what advice she would give me because most of the time, I knew the answer in my heart, I just needed her to reassure me.

Sisterhood is an amazing bond. If you are lucky enough to have a sister, hold onto her tightly. If you have any type of bond that resembled the one my sister and I had, please know I am extremely envious. My sister and I could just look at each other and knew what each other was thinking. We knew when the other one needed support or needed to vent. She always knew what to say to me, and I miss that most of all.

five years christmas

Five years. Where did the time go? Things have changed so much in such little time. Her children are now 10 and seven. I look at the last few pictures of my sister’s life and the kids are so small. My nephew is just a little pea pod of two years old. Does he truly remember her? Does he remember her sweet smile and demeanor? Does he remember her holding him and rocking him? He knows her picture and talks as though he does. We can only hope. My niece who was five at the time remembers her but what does she remember? And how much does she remember of my sister’s illness and battle with cancer? How does that impact her? All we can do is hope that they go to therapy or a support group like Valerie’s House if they need it and develop into happy, loving, kind human beings.

I can’t imagine losing a spouse. Of course, marriages are not perfect. They take work, communication, respect, and love. And yes, sometimes you really want your spouse to go away, but you don’t expect to lose someone to cancer at such a young age. My sister was only 38 years old and her husband was only 33. Their lives were just beginning and their family was just starting. Sometimes I get so upset that she finally found the love of her life and then she was taken away. Sometimes this life seems so unfair. I want to scream, and I want her to come back, but yet again, I have to move forward. I have no control over life’s events.

Since she must have been needed in Heaven and can’t be with us anymore, we need to realize that she would want us all to live life to the fullest until we meet her again. In my heart, I know that she would want her husband and her children to be happy. She would want her husband to find love again. She would want him to smile, laugh, go on adventures, and have fun. She would want him to find a woman to help nurture her children. She would want someone in her children’s lives who would love them and treat them with kindness and respect. She would want them to know love and see their father happy. She would want her children to exude positive energy and happiness, not sorrow and despair. I believe my brother-in-law has found someone that exudes those qualities that my sister would want. I am truly happy for him and the kids.

Here we are almost five years later. Even though I miss my sister more than words can say and wish she was here more than anything, I am grateful that my brother-in-law has found someone. This new woman and her family celebrated the holidays with our family. It seems this woman has brought a lot of positive changes to my brother-in-law’s life. When I see him with her, I see them smiling, laughing, and enjoying each other and each other’s children. I like her a lot and hope we become closer as time moves on. I am excited to embrace these new family members and am open to creating a bond with this new woman and her family. I hope she is as open to me as I am to her, and I can’t wait to see where this journey takes us.

five years stacy and new gf

Yes, change is hard. Losing a family member is hard. Losing a young life is hard. Life is hard. Sometimes family dynamics unexpectedly change and sometimes family becomes people who are not necessarily related to you by blood. And sometimes you find new family members actually related to you by blood. The one thing we can all count on is that life changes. Let’s embrace those changes and make the best of the situations we are in.

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope this year you embrace new adventures. I hope you embrace new family members, and I hope you realize life is too short to hold grudges, to be pissed off at the little things, and to degrade other people because you feel bad about yourself. Let’s make an effort to celebrate and support one another in 2023.

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

 

Last year I wrote a post called “Letter from Above.” A friend told me I should republish it every year around the holidays so I thought I would remind you to check it out. Click on the link above and it will take you back to my letter. I hope it gives you a sense of peace as we embark on this holiday season. Even though the holidays are a beautiful time of year, they also can be very painful for some people who have suffered severe loss. I hope that you have the support you need to get through this season with a smile on your beautiful face and a light of hope in your heart.

As I was wasting time on Facebook the other day, I saw this letter that someone else shared. I also kept the links that will take you to their pages. I thought both of these women were very inspirational. I hope you take some time to scroll through their pages. Just reading a few of their posts made me feel better about myself, my journey, and the losses I have suffered. I hope they do the same for you.

A love letter from those who have passed on…
Take the love you have for me
And radiate it outwards
Allowing it to touch and impact others
Take the memory you have of me
And use it as a source of inspiration
To live fully, meaningfully and intentionally
Take the image you have of me in your mind
And allow it to fuel you
To take action
Seize the day
And be reminded of what is most important in life
Take the care you have for me
And let it remind you
To care for yourself fully
And shower yourself with your own love
And take the pain and grief you feel
Following my loss
And alchemize it into
Love, compassion and beauty
Build a castle
From the wreckage of my passing
And allow it to unlock your greatness and potential
And empower you to become more than you ever thought you were capable of being
And know that I can never truly leave you
And will always remain beside you
Watching over you in spirit
And that the love I have for you lives on
Through the connections you form
The kindness and compassion you share
And the future relationships and friendships you cultivate.
And until we are one day reunited
I will remain with you
Through the storms and chaos of life
And am always beside you
Walking with you, laughing with you, crying with you and smiling with you
And I am proud of you for being strong
I am proud of you for being brave
And I am proud of you for being you.
Words by Tahlia Hunter

I wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a very Happy, Happy New Year!

Photo by Álvaro Serrano on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

As you know we try to eat better to move better. We had the best avocado toast at a little breakfast place in St. Augustine called Uptown Swinery. It was so good! Today, I made breakfast at our beach condo in Carolina Beach, NC. I added an over-easy egg to it. So it becomes messy but so delicious! Try it out!

Ingredients

  • 1 slice of Ezekiel bread
  • 1/2 avocado
  • 1 egg
  • 5 grape tomatoes cut in half
  • sprinkle to taste Everything Bagel Seasoning

Stacy’s Suggestions and Preparation

  1. Make an over-easy egg.
  2. Toast your bread.
  3. Cut up grape tomatoes.
  4. Cut avocado in half.
  5. Once the toast is done, spread avocado on it.
  6. Add your egg.
  7. Add grape tomatoes.
  8. Sprinkle on seasoning.
  9. Enjoy!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy