caregiver journey Archives - Page 5 of 9 - Inspired & Strong | Making the Best of Every Day with Stacy

Sweet Gram

February 22, 2022 3 Comments

Can you believe Sweet Gram has been gone almost one year?? On one hand, it feels like it just happened. On the other, it feels like she’s been gone so long. People say time heals all wounds, and maybe that is true but losing Gram has been a real struggle for me.

It’s true our family has been through a lot of loss this past decade. It’s hard to believe that we lost my sister four years ago May 7th, my Dad 10 years ago May 23rd, my Gramps six years ago on February 4th, and my sweet Gram one year ago on February 24th.

All of these losses have taken a toll on my heart. Sometimes out of the blue something happens and it just hits me hard as a rock. A song that my sister and I used to listen to will come on the radio or my dad’s cologne will drift by me in the store. It’s amazing how hard something so little can hit you so hard.

This past year has been very difficult for me. I am not sure why the loss of Gram has hit me so hard but it has, and I still struggle. Maybe because I feel guilty about putting her into the senior living home for her final 3 months. Maybe because I took care of her for five years. Maybe because she was almost like a child to me and also at times my best friend. Maybe because she was a part of my life for 45 years. I miss her little laugh and her loving smile. I miss her advice, her thoughts, and her funny sayings. She was my partner-in-crime. I miss going to get ice cream with her. I am not sure there is anyone else in the world who loved ice cream as much as she did.

The littlest things made sweet Gram so happy. She never complained. And she rarely said a bad word about anyone. She had the most inspiring outlook on life. And that positive, optimistic little lady is what I miss so much. I am not sure there will ever be another one like her.

I guess that is why this past year has been so hard. That little lady carried me home from the hospital when I was born. That little lady was by my side almost every day for the last five years of her life. That little lady was there for every holiday and supported me at all of my sporting events in high school and college. That little lady was my idol. I can only strive to be half as good as my little lady was. I love and miss you sweet Gram.

In Family

Therapy

February 15, 2022 2 Comments

Therapy “is the treatment of a physical, cognitive, or behavioral disorder or illness.” People go to physical therapy all of the time to help with functional mobility. Many people participate in some form of physical fitness to keep their bodies healthy. Yet, people are afraid or feel there is a stigma around going to a psychologist, social worker, or counselor to get help with their mental health.

I am so blessed that I grew up in a generation and had friends who are open to therapy. Many people I know want to be the best person they can be both physically and mentally. And sometimes therapy is needed to become that person.

Seeing a professional isn’t the only way to stay healthy mentally. If you do decide to seek extra help you don’t have to stay forever. You can join a church group or participate in an online forum. You can have ladies’ night once a month, you can meditate, or write in a journal. There are many ways to keep your mind healthy. And these things may work for you most of the time, but there may be a time or two when you need a little extra support.

Photo by Jess Bailey on Unsplash

Although I have many wonderful friends that I can talk to and who help me work through things I struggle with, there is nothing like a good therapist. That person is there to listen only to you. She or he may give advice and help you work through the issues by asking leading questions, but they are there for YOU and to support YOU. Therapy for me is my time to be me. To cry if I want to. To laugh. To be mad at someone. It gives me the opportunity to evaluate my feelings by actually saying them aloud. Then I can determine if my feelings are really fair or if I need to change my perspective.

It is hard sometimes to go to therapy, and it may be scary. Sometimes you realize you are projecting your feelings and insecurities onto others. Sometimes you over-evaluate a situation that another person hasn’t thought about since it happened. Sometimes in your head, it may sound rationale but as soon as you say it aloud to someone else, it sounds completely different. Personally, I love having someone to talk through situations with and evaluate how I should be reacting to them. Because honestly although it hurts your heart sometimes you just gotta shake it off!

Whether you believe in therapy or not, I hope you take a little time each day, week, or month to give yourself a little grace and to take a moment to work on yourself and your mental health. Read a motivating passage, write in a journal, or take a walk and feel some sunshine on your face. Do something for yourself and just be.

Photo by Marcel Strauß on Unsplash

In Family

Grow Up

February 1, 2022 No Comments

My husband sent me an article called “3 Signs You Are Growing Old Instead of Growing Up” from one of the subscriptions he gets from All Pro Dad. All Pro Dad is a great website for inspiration on how to deal with different situations with your children. Although the website focuses more on men (and dads in particular), I think it can be read by all. We are all growing older, every day. So what do we want to do with our lives going forward? What are our goals for the remainder of our lives? And once we achieve them do we just stop or chase another dream or goal? Or are we satisfied and become complacent? How can we grow up instead of just growing old?

“A good way to grow up instead of growing old is to get out of your comfort zone.”

The quote above says it all. No matter how old or young you are, get out of your comfort zone. Try something new or scary. Be willing to take the leap of faith. Do what you are passionate about. Show your children, your family, or your friends that you are willing to try something that may make you uncomfortable. Grow your soul.

I have a friend who cannot swim. She is afraid of the water but she has put herself out of her comfort zone several times. She enjoys being on the water on a boat and even has a trip planned to spend six days on a catamaran sailing the British Virgin Islands. I am so proud and excited for her. If she wasn’t willing to put herself out there (with a lifejacket of course), she would miss out on the most beautiful waters and sites of the islands. How fun is that?

Jeff and I try to keep our relationship alive and young by complementing each other, staying active, and eating healthy. We want to stay sexy for each other, stay active and athletic so we can leap out of our comfort zone as we get older. We want to be able to try new things like skiing (for me), scuba diving (for us both), or hiking no matter how old we are in years. The more active we stay, the more active we can be as we age. If we become complacent in our lifestyle, those things may not be as easy, and we may not be as motivated to try new things. And anyone who knows me knows I have FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), so I definitely don’t want to grow old!

Wherever you are in your life, don’t be afraid to try new things. Pray on it. Make a list of pros and cons. Get out there and live. Life is too short. Be an inspiration for your partner. Be an inspiration for your children and grandchildren. Get out there and grow up, not old!

Photo by Razvan Chisu on Unsplash

In Fitness and Nutrition

New Year, New You

January 4, 2022 No Comments

It seems every January, people make resolutions that they don’t keep. They think it’s a new year, it should be a new me. Instead of being realistic they go for the gold and end up quitting before they even get started. This year, make your resolution mindful and realistic. Reread the post Eat Better and Move Better and focus on becoming 1% better every day. What baby steps can you make to meet your goal? The more steps you take and the more progress you see the more likely you will be to keep going.

It’s hard because, after the holidays and all of the parties and gatherings, you want to be a new you in the new year. But try to evaluate where you are now and where you want to go. Then be realistic about the amount of work you will need to put in. I am not trying to discourage you. I just want you to be honest with yourself. Whatever your new year goals are…what does it take to get there?

Do you want to lose weight? Gain muscle? Run a race? Quit drinking? Quit smoking? Eat at home more often? Eat less fast food? Travel more? Do a Spartan Race or a mud run? Hike a mountain? Ride a bike? Whatever you decide, write it down, and determine your short-term goals. Remember the end goals are like marathons, not sprints. You are not going to lose 10 pounds in 10 days. It takes time. So start small. Start with two pounds a month and by next year the new you will be 24 pounds lighter! And next year, you can continue and soon you are down 48 pounds, and you can keep it off because you have changed your lifestyle and not gone on some fad diet.

I talk a lot in this blog about how we eat and how we move. I first learned to eat healthily at Bill Lawrencen’s Personal Fitness in Meadville, PA. If you are in the area, go now, and start Dream Team. You won’t be sorry. He gets some serious results. You can also participate virtually. Check out the website. To this day, Jeff and I continue eating a lean protein, the right carb, and a healthy fat at every meal. When we eat out, we make as healthy of a choice as we can, and usually, we order fish or lean meat and veggies.

If your goal is to travel more then decide how often do you want to go? How much do you want to spend on each trip? Then make it happen. Do a little each week or month to get you there. Look for deals on airlines. Look at the low-cost carriers. Try to pack minimally and don’t pay for a seat or luggage. There are many ways to travel inexpensively. Also, look at credit cards that give you miles.

Whatever your goals, it’s a new year for a new you. Start small and take baby steps. Jeff and I had our two-year wedding anniversary on December 31st. One of our new year’s commitments to each other is that every month we will do one of the Five Love Languages. We did them the first two years of our relationship but haven’t made a conscious effort on them for the last two years. Each month we will pick a language and make a day of it. To find out your love language and that of your partner or even a family member, click here.

Whatever your goals, I wish you a safe, happy, and healthy new year and new you! Stay strong and be inspired each and every day!

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

In Adventures with Gram

Christmas Without Gram

December 28, 2021 No Comments

2021. Our first Christmas without Gram, our matriarch, our Babcia, our sweet little lady. In her younger days, she was the baker. She made everything from spaghetti sauce, to pumpkin rolls, to vanilla cream pie, to pierogis. She was the last to sit down and the first to get back up and make sure everyone had what they needed.

Christmas without Gram was different. Even though we continued on with many of Gram’s traditions, we missed her smiling face at the end of the table. We missed telling her to sit down and eat. We missed her telling us to put more filling in the pierogis. We missed taking pictures with her in front of the tree. We missed everything about her.

We tried to be present this Christmas without Gram, and we tried to honor and cherish her. We talked about her as we rolled the pierogi dough and decided what to fill it with. We talked about her as we shopped, knowing she would have loved the HUGE Christmas tree at the mall. We asked her to watch over us as we did our traditional “happy thought” on Christmas Eve.

Gram had such an impact on all of those who were lucky enough to have met her. The students from Alliance College still send cards and letters. They share stories with us of both my grandparents. The friends we have from Pennsylvania talk about how much they miss Gram. Friends from Florida talk about how much they enjoyed meeting her and loved seeing her on the boat so many times.

Even though we had Christmas without Gram, I realized how much she is there in all that we do. I realized how much of an impact she had and continues to have on my niece and nephew. Gram’s heart was huge, and I see her light shining through those little ones every day. They smile, they giggle, they laugh. They love making pierogis and baking cookies. This Christmas, we made gingerbread cookies, and they had a blast cutting out the shapes and decorating them. Gram would have loved it. I see Gram’s spirit, as well as my sister’s, shining through in them.

My goal is to keep Gram’s spirit alive by passing down our Polish traditions. I want to show the kids Christmas is not about the presents but about being present in the moment and enjoying each other’s company. It is about Jesus, his birthday, and all that he gave up for us. It is about the Polish tradition of Wigilia. It is about Christmas Eve Mass. It is about waiting all week to open your presents. It is about making pierogis and cookies. It is about spending quality time together with those that you love. It is about driving around and looking at the beautiful and “tacky” Christmas lights.

Although we have several old traditions, we also have new traditions that we are passing on to the kids. They get a gift from their mom every Christmas. My mom has continued her parents’ tradition of getting Lladro for the grandchildren. Gram and Gramps got them for us for 15 years. My mom has started that tradition for her little ones. Jeff and I started the tradition last year of the Christmas snowmen. Jeff built them a cardboard snowman and the kids get presents for each part of the snowman. We try to get them an activity, some clothes, and a toy or game.

In the end, Christmas without Gram was still beautiful and wonderful. We enjoyed the time with the family and the kids. We loved making the pierogis and the mess in the kitchen with our holiday baking. We loved having a family game night. Even though Gram wasn’t with us on Earth we know she was with us in spirit.

In Pilot's Wife

Never Home

October 26, 2021 No Comments

For the past three years, Gram, Jeff, and I have spent winters in our Florida home and summers at Gram’s House in Pennsylvania. We lost Gram in February and life just hasn’t been the same. I have felt lost and sad without her. It really hasn’t gotten any easier. I still miss her face and her smile. But it seems since she has been gone we are never home.

Even though we have always traveled with Gram, there were some trips Gram couldn’t do. So she and I would have some downtime at home. We would sit by the pool or the fire and watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. But since she has been gone, I have had more freedom to go and now we are never home. I am not sure if this summer is going to be our new “normal” but it has definitely been a whirlwind.

Since Jeff and I left Florida in June we have been going nonstop. It is one of the benefits of being a pilot’s wife. He can work from anywhere, and we have some travel benefits. We decided each summer we can try a different area for a month or so. This past summer we decided on Virginia. Over that six weeks, we had many adventures with the kids and created some wonderful memories. But we didn’t get “home” until mid-August.

We left Virginia and headed to West Virginia for Jeff’s uncle’s memorial service. Although the circumstances were sad, it was nice to see his extended family and for me to meet more of his family. The first weekend we were home in PA the family came up for my mom’s surprise 70^th birthday party, then Jeff had training in Kentucky so we spent a week there with friends. Then it was September, and we were off to Virginia for my niece’s birthday. On the way home, we flew to Texas to get Jeff’s mom and spent a few days in West Virginia again with his family. We met friends in Pittsburgh on the way home and went to a Pirates game. For the first few weeks, we were never home.

The next weekend we met up with friends from Chicago that were in the area and had a nice bike ride through the country roads before we drove back to Pittsburgh and flew to our Florida home to check on the house, run the boat, and have dinner with a few of our Florida friends.

On the way home, we met some of Jeff’s high school friends in Pittsburgh and had a great time catching up with them. I thought we were going home but that weekend we drove to Columbus for the Ohio State game. Again, never home. They won which means I am allowed to go back for another game. It was Grandpa’s rule that if you went to a Steeler game, and they lost you weren’t allowed to go back. Jeff seems to have the same rule!

The next weekend we were actually in our small town. We had a campfire in our backyard then went on a wine walk the next day. It was so nice to be around friends and enjoy the area in which we live. The next week my mom came up, and we drove up to Buffalo and the Falls. It really is amazing how many different areas we can get to within a few hours of our summer home.

The next thing I knew it was October, and I felt like I was never home. We seemed to have missed the summer in PA. Now it was time to head to Nashville for the Spartan race. It was such an amazing weekend with the girls, and I loved the Spartan race. I can’t wait to do it again! From there I went to meet my mom and the rest of the family in the Outer Banks, and Jeff was off to work. It was a beautiful few days at the beach with the kids. They love fishing and playing in the waves. It’s amazing how fearless they are of the water. My brother-in-law caught a shark, and they thought it was the coolest thing.

Sunday we went to the Steelers/Broncos game in Pittsburgh. Again, we met up with Jeff’s high school buddies. We had another fun night although it made me miss my grandparents so much. They loved going to the Steelers’ games and had season tickets for years. We also made it to a Browns/Broncos game in Cleveland a few weeks later where we met up with friends and family. The first time I rooted against the Broncos then I had to cheer for them against the Browns. But they lost and our friend, SuperFan, was in his glory for beating them.

The next weekend was a friends’ weekend and we were finally home! We met up with a couple of girls that I went to college with on Friday. Although I hadn’t seen them in a few years, we picked right up where we left off. The next day we went to my friend’s annual pumpkin party. There, we were surrounded by friends I have known since elementary school and a huge bonfire. One of the perks of living in the country. Again, it was so nice being around people I have known forever. That Sunday our friends from the gym invited us over for brunch. We ate a delicious meal and then played Sequence with her daughters and their boyfriends. It was the old fogies against the young bucks and of course, the young bucks won. But it was a wonderful Sunday afternoon and really fun to play a board game with friends.

We have been in our summer home for 10 weeks although it feels like 10 days because we are never home. Yes, our life seems crazy at times but sitting around doing nothing is not our thing. People ask us how we keep track of where we are going and the Google shared calendar is the only way we survive. We share Jeff’s work schedule, our crazy life schedule, and my social schedule when Jeff is gone. If we didn’t have our calendars, we wouldn’t know what to do.

It’s hard to believe we only have about three weeks left in our “summer” home. The weather is starting to change getting colder and wetter. Although it is absolutely beautiful, it’s about time to go south.

It makes me sad to think about leaving. We love the people in northwest PA and our time here. It seems wherever we are I never want to leave. And maybe because wherever we are, we are never “home”. I always want more time. I didn’t want to leave Florida for the summer. I didn’t want to leave Virginia after our six weeks there. I don’t want to leave Pennsylvania for the winter. I guess that makes us lucky that we have such beautiful, amazing friends and family wherever we are that it always feels like “home”. Mostly, I just wish I could be in three places at the same time!

The featured and fall images were taken by my friend and an amazing photographer. Follow her @momma_d.3

In Family

Summertime with the Kids

October 19, 2021 No Comments

We rented a house for six weeks this past summer in Virginia. We wanted to be close to the kids and spend some more time with them. I know we are there almost every other month, but I wanted to be there for the summer without the interference of school and homework. So we did, and it was wonderful!

We got there on July 1. The house we rented was about a 20-minute drive away from the family. And if I were to do it again I would rent something closer. When we got there, we told the kids we had a list of activities we wanted to do with them. They were so excited.

The first week we took them to three different playgrounds and parks. They had so much fun bouncing from one piece of equipment to another. They love making ninja-type obstacle courses and racing each other from one end to the other.

The next week we caught up with friends from the Richmond area that I hadn’t seen in a couple of years. The kids met their kids and enjoyed some pool time together. We also spent time at the pool with friends of the kids. We were very thankful we had some pools to go to because going to Virginia in July really didn’t help us escape from the Florida heat!

For the next few weeks, we took the kids to do many different activities. We found a fun center that had bumper boats, putt-putt, and go-karts. They had so much fun and so did we. I hadn’t ridden a go-kart in years, and I forgot how fun racing around the course could be. My nephew was too little to drive so we rode together and got the fast car. We had a blast lapping my mom and his sister.

Another one of our activities this past summer was taking the kids to the Zoo. I had never been and neither had they. They loved feeding the giraffes and riding the rides. There were only four rides but we had unlimited passes so we rode them all at least twice. Their favorite ride was one that was like a drop zone. They went straight up and bounced back down. Their laughs made my heart so happy. Jeff and I had a wonderful time watching them run from one animal to another. It was a long day but a great day.

Being with the kids meant the world to me. We were so relaxed and stress-free. Even driving from park to park was fun because they were always in the backseat singing. The kids spent the night at our house a few times. It was a two-story home and the steps were carpeted. It’s funny that they figured out how to slide down the steps without anyone telling them to do it.

The kids also loved working out with us in the garage and practicing gymnastics moves in the yard. My niece also was playing softball on the all-star team so I was very grateful that I could be there to watch her play.

One of the most fun we had was decorating rubber ducks and then putting them on other Jeeps in parking lots. Trending on Instagram was #duckduckjeep and the kids loved it. We even got ducked one evening, and they thought it was so much fun.

The kids are growing up so fast. I love their personalities and that they are so independent. It makes me sad that they are getting so big and soon will turn into teenagers that probably won’t care if Aunt Stacy and Uncle Jeff come around. So for now we enjoy the time we can with these sweet little people. I wish I could scoop them up and put them in my back pocket but for now I will just squeeze them as much as possible every chance I get.

In Family

Timing

October 5, 2021 3 Comments

I had the pleasure of spending a beautiful fall day with my mother a couple of weeks ago. We went to Buffalo to our favorite jewelry store. The owner, Gary Grelick, played basketball for my Grandpa and has been a family friend for as long as I can remember. My grandfather loved investing in jewelry for my grandmother and used Bomi Jewelers for all his jewelry needs. Gram didn’t have an engagement ring so I believe my grandfather tried to make up for it later in her life. I guess it’s all about the timing.

Gary has made beautiful and unique pieces for our family over the years. I remember as a child going to the store and just loved being around all those gems. I was in awe looking through all the amazing jewelry cases. No wonder I love diamonds so much 🙂 (plus they happen to be my birthstone!).

This time my mother and I took a road trip up to New York. Mom decided this summer to take off her wedding band and engagement ring. It has been nine years since my dad passed and this summer she decided the timing was right. She wanted Gary to make her something special to wear in place of her band. After a couple of hours of deliberating and trying different pieces, mom decided on a beautiful piece that will incorporate all of our family’s birthstones as well as her engagement ring. It is going to be absolutely gorgeous. I cannot wait for her to get it!

After our trip to the jewelry store, we went to Niagara Falls. We had lunch in our car, went to the Casino for about an hour, and walked around the park. I did win $11. It was a perfect autumn afternoon. Then it was time to leave. I left my mom with her cousins for a fun-filled fall weekend in upstate New York, and I got into my car to head home to PA.

On my way home, I started thinking about my parents and the timing of it all. They knew each other in high school and started dating in their 20’s. They then married and had my sister and me. Their marriage was not perfect, they had many trials and tribulations, but they were making it, and they loved each other.

At age 51, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Lung cancer. Stage 3. It was wrapped around his pulmonary artery, and they were not going to operate. He went through months of radiation and chemo and things were looking stable. He ended up fighting lung cancer on and off for the next nine years. At age 60, the fight was too much, his time on Earth was over, and God took him to Heaven to do other work.

The reason I am telling you all of this is because when he was fighting I was in my late 20’s and early 30’s. I knew he wasn’t “old” but he was my Dad. I guess I never really thought about his AGE or the timing of it. On that car ride home, I thought back to when his battle began, and I realized my husband is the same age as my dad was when his battle began. It has put into perspective how YOUNG my dad was when this all started. And it put into perspective how YOUNG my mom was when he passed and how young she still is.

It has been nine years. I am not sure if my mom has thought about dating. If my mom would have started seeing someone right after my dad passed, maybe I would have been hurt or upset. But now it’s been nine years. I know she loved my dad, and they had a great life together. But now I am wondering when is the time right to move on?

I know it’s different for everyone. Some people move from one relationship to another right after a partner’s death, a divorce, or a break-up. Some people take years to find someone they want to spend time with again. We are all unique. We all deal with death, divorce, and break-ups differently. There is no book to follow and no timeline to adhere to.

It is very difficult to be the person on the outside. Sometimes you want your friend or loved to move on. You want them to “just get over it”. Or sometimes we think “how can they start dating again ALREADY?”. It’s way too soon. The timing is different for everyone in every situation. We can’t judge. We need to be supportive and encouraging. We need to remember we aren’t in the same situation. We don’t know what we would do.

I really would like my mom to find someone to spend the rest of her years with. Now whether she wants someone or not, I don’t know. She has her grandchildren, her family, and her friends. But I pray that God will put someone in her life to travel with, to explore the world with, to experience the grandchildren with. I hope that maybe the timing is right. Maybe taking her ring off is the first step in putting herself out there and being open to the idea of sharing her life with someone.

As I drove home I thought of my family and the losses we have endured. I remember one Christmas we were driving around town looking at the Christmas lights. At that point, everyone in the car was “single”. My brother-in-law just lost my sister, Gram had lost Gramps, and Mom had lost Dad. I was the only one in the car who had decided to divorce my ex-husband and who was dating My Prince 10 years later. All of the others did not choose the path they were on. And it still breaks my heart that they have lost their loves and that half of my family is gone.

So the question remains, when is the time right to move on? One week, one month, one year, five years, 10 years? There is so much to process when you lose someone close to you. Of course, I believe finding the right therapist and talking it out can really help. I also think surrounding yourself with positive, happy people helps. As hard as it is to accept, the loved one isn’t coming back.

So, the question becomes when is the timing right? What do I want? Do I want to do life by myself with friends and family? Do I want a partner to go to dinner with and share the day’s events with before bedtime? Of course, it is an individual decision and finding the right partner to spend time with isn’t always easy.

But remember, life is short. Whatever path you choose, make it a happy one, and count the blessings you do have. Enjoy the time you have left on Earth doing what you love, doing what inspires you, and doing things to inspire others.

In Pilot's Wife

My Music

September 21, 2021 1 Comment

Many people, whether they are single or in a relationship love watching movies, television series, and Netflix. And maybe it’s because Jeff and I barely sit still for one minute let alone for an hour or two to watch TV, but the first thing we do when we walk in the house is turn on the music. In Florida, we use our phones to turn on our Sonos system. In Pennsylvania, we either turn on the Sonos Move that we bring with us or Gramps‘ Bose radio. Either way, music is on ALL THE TIME.

I was trying to think of something to blog about, and I thought why not talk about music. I can learn about your favorite songs and maybe you can listen to a few of mine. I love discovering new music so I hope to hear from many of you about some new (or old) artists that I may not know about and may soon love, too.

My Favorite Music as a Child

I was born in 1976. My parents loved music as well and had it on throughout the weekends. We had a stereo and a record player. In my dad’s Bronco, we also had an 8 track player! Some of you youngsters may have to Google all of that 🙂 but we had a good collection of music. We joined BMG records and would get 12 records or audiocassettes and later CD’s for the price of one. It was the best way to get new music delivered right to your doorstep.

My childhood was filled with the sweet sounds of bands like the Eagles, Michael Jackson, Prince, Kenny Rogers, and Credence Clearwater Revival to name a few. My mom loved Air Supply and REO Speedwagon, and I flash right back to my childhood when I hear any of the above artists. One evening at Gram’s House, we were listening to Brown Eyed Girl on the tape player. My sister and I must have hit play and rewind 100 times trying to learn all the words as my parents would sign along and tell us what was coming up.

My First CD

As I got a little older, the music industry came out with CDs. My first CD was the Boomerang Soundtrack. I had a collection of over 100 CDs by the time I went to college (which got stolen from my car BTW). I had everything from Garth Brooks to Shai to Sophie B. Hawkins to Janet Jackson.

My Favorite Song to Sing with my Best Friend

I have had the same best friend since 7th grade. We played softball and basketball together and developed an everlasting friendship to this day. She was a year younger than me and she won’t let me forget it now! But we would ride around the country roads of our town and learn the words to various songs. Our most favorite that we still send pictures of when it’s playing on Sirius XM is Stay by Lisa Loeb. We still know every word because we kept hitting rewind and signing each line until we KNEW every word. We also love Sophie B. Hawkins and the song Did We Not Choose Each Other. Of course, we also rode all over Edinboro with my portable CD player blasting Janet Jackson’s Janet CD. Other high school memories include our softball team being on the bus with the baseball team and every few weeks after a good win we would all sing Friends in Low Places on the way home. I also loved The Jets Got a Crush on You. And my high school girlfriends will still play it for me when we go out together.

My Favorite Song to Sing

If you know me or have been reading this blog for a while then you know my favorite song to sing after a few beers is Dreams by Van Halen. Jeff’s mom had the pleasure of listening to me sing a few weeks ago. Although she laughed and laughed, I am afraid I may have scared her away. Hopefully she comes back for another performance very soon.

My Favorite Artist to Sing that Sounds a Liiiiiitttttttllle Better than Sammy But Not Much

My roommate from college brought a double-disc live CD back from a concert she went to one summer. The artist was Ani Difranco and it was her Living In Clip CD. Ani opened for Bob Dylan that summer of 97 in Boston. Once D brought her into our lives, we couldn’t stop listening to her. We listened to those two CDs over and over again. I can still turn on almost any Ani song and know the words. I love Gravel, Little Plastic Castles, Angry Anymore. Shameless and Buildings and Bridges. My husband says I sound much better singing any Ani song rather than any Van Halen song. So I am going with it.

Other CDs that I wore out in college were TLC’s CrazySexyCool, Sheryl Crow’s Tuesday Night Music Club, and Dave Matthews Band Before These Crowded Streets. Our favorite concert to go to in college was DMB. So much fun!

Music When You are in Love

I believe these songs change over time as you and your partner grow into different stages of your relationship and one song may work for one relationship but if that relationship ends another song fills the void when a new partner is found. Jeff and I love making playlists on Spotify and some of our favorite songs from the beginning of our relationship until now are Written in the Sand, Happens Like That, What Ifs, Unforgettable, Meant to Be, Whole Lot in Love, The Bones, More, and Made For You. We started a playlist when we started dating and made it collaborative so we could add to it as time went on. It’s still one of my favorites. If you don’t have Spotify, you should check it out. For $10-15 a month you can listen to almost any full album by any artist new or old. You can also make and share playlists.

When You Need a Good Cry

This song Show Me Around brings tears to my eyes. It really hit me after Gram passed but it makes me think of my dad, sister, and grandpa as well. If you have lost someone this song can bring you some hope even though it will make you a bit sad, too. Drink a Beer, Watch Over You, and I Will Not Say Goodbye are a few more to put on when you are missing your person.

When You Hang out with Your Girlfriends

My sister and I loved listening to music, too. So many songs and CDs make me think of her. A few of our favorites were The Wreckers, Dixie Chicks, Taylor Swift, Luke Bryan, and Indigo Girls. Whenever I hear an older song from one of these artists, I instantly go back to the moment with my sister. One of our favorite songs, when we were tired of a relationship and needed to be strong and move on, was Fergie’s Big Girls Don’t Cry. We used to love driving around to this song with the top-down on my VW EOS signing at the top of our lungs.

So whatever mood you are in, check out a few of these songs. Also, please comment or email me a few of your favorites! I love listening to all kinds of music, especially new artists. Oh btw, three more artists to check out on YouTube, Spotify, Amazon Music, or ApplePlay are O.A.R, Diamond Dixie, and Amber Patino. Enjoy!!

Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

In Family

Jeff’s mom

September 14, 2021 No Comments

As you read in My Prince, I met Jeff in 2017. Prior to this past week, I only met his mother once when we were in Dallas for a wedding. She was having major back issues and seemed very uncomfortable and in a lot of pain. Since then, we have invited Jeff’s mom to several events but she has been hesitant and unwilling to travel. Plus, she had a small dog that needed care. Jeff saw her a few times as he has had layovers in the area.

This summer Jeff’s mom finally said yes! She agreed to come to West Virginia to see her children and grandchildren and other family members. Recently, her little pup was not doing well and needed to be put down. We are heartbroken for her but she no longer had any excuses. So Jeff’s mom was on her way!

Jeff and I agreed to go to Texas to get her and help her maneuver the airport. Although we had to take a roundabout way of getting back to Pennsylvania from Virginia, it was worth it. I think us being there for her really helped her relax and feel more confident about getting on a plane again. Although she was a flight attendant for 25 years she hasn’t really flown since she retired. And I think we were all nervous about how Jeff’s mom would do. But she checked herself in and was at the gate by the time we got our bags and checked back in to met her at the gate. Sometimes you just need to take the leap! And we were so happy that Jeff’s mom was taking the leap at 74!

We were able to celebrate a wonderful birthday dinner as a family with Jeff’s mom on her birthday. She was happy to be surrounded by family on her big day. And we all had a wonderful time. I think sometimes the anxiety of a situation is worse than the actual situation. We all had a great time celebrating this lovely lady. And I hope she felt that, too.

Jeff’s sister lives at the top of a hill in West Virginia with a beautiful overlook. She also has four dogs and Jeff’s mom loved every one of them (as did Gram :)). She has talked about how she loves the views from Jenn’s porch. She loves the birds, the deer, and “even the groundhogs”. Actually, we think she likes it so much that after 35 years away she may move back to West Virginia. And our fingers are crossed that she does!

So in the end it doesn’t matter if you are 8, 15, 21, 32, 50, or 75 the anxiety of a situation is usually much worse than the actual situation. And sometimes no matter how old you are or what situation you are in, sometimes you just need to take the leap!! I, for one, think it will all be alright and whatever will be will be. Just do it!