caregiver journey Archives - Page 5 of 8 - Inspired & Strong | Making the Best of Every Day with Stacy

It seems every January, people make resolutions that they don’t keep. They think it’s a new year, it should be a new me. Instead of being realistic they go for the gold and end up quitting before they even get started. This year, make your resolution mindful and realistic. Reread the post Eat Better and Move Better and focus on becoming 1% better every day. What baby steps can you make to meet your goal? The more steps you take and the more progress you see the more likely you will be to keep going.

It’s hard because, after the holidays and all of the parties and gatherings, you want to be a new you in the new year. But try to evaluate where you are now and where you want to go. Then be realistic about the amount of work you will need to put in. I am not trying to discourage you. I just want you to be honest with yourself. Whatever your new year goals are…what does it take to get there?

Do you want to lose weight? Gain muscle? Run a race? Quit drinking? Quit smoking? Eat at home more often? Eat less fast food? Travel more? Do a Spartan Race or a mud run? Hike a mountain? Ride a bike? Whatever you decide, write it down, and determine your short-term goals. Remember the end goals are like marathons, not sprints. You are not going to lose 10 pounds in 10 days. It takes time. So start small. Start with two pounds a month and by next year the new you will be 24 pounds lighter! And next year, you can continue and soon you are down 48 pounds, and you can keep it off because you have changed your lifestyle and not gone on some fad diet.

I talk a lot in this blog about how we eat and how we move. I first learned to eat healthily at Bill Lawrencen’s Personal Fitness in Meadville, PA. If you are in the area, go now, and start Dream Team. You won’t be sorry. He gets some serious results. You can also participate virtually. Check out the website. To this day, Jeff and I continue eating a lean protein, the right carb, and a healthy fat at every meal. When we eat out, we make as healthy of a choice as we can, and usually, we order fish or lean meat and veggies.

If your goal is to travel more then decide how often do you want to go? How much do you want to spend on each trip? Then make it happen. Do a little each week or month to get you there. Look for deals on airlines. Look at the low-cost carriers. Try to pack minimally and don’t pay for a seat or luggage. There are many ways to travel inexpensively. Also, look at credit cards that give you miles.

Whatever your goals, it’s a new year for a new you. Start small and take baby steps. Jeff and I had our two-year wedding anniversary on December 31st. One of our new year’s commitments to each other is that every month we will do one of the Five Love Languages. We did them the first two years of our relationship but haven’t made a conscious effort on them for the last two years. Each month we will pick a language and make a day of it. To find out your love language and that of your partner or even a family member, click here.

Whatever your goals, I wish you a safe, happy, and healthy new year and new you! Stay strong and be inspired each and every day!

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

In Adventures with Gram

Christmas Without Gram

December 28, 2021 No Comments

2021. Our first Christmas without Gram, our matriarch, our Babcia, our sweet little lady. In her younger days, she was the baker. She made everything from spaghetti sauce, to pumpkin rolls, to vanilla cream pie, to pierogis. She was the last to sit down and the first to get back up and make sure everyone had what they needed.

Christmas without Gram was different. Even though we continued on with many of Gram’s traditions, we missed her smiling face at the end of the table. We missed telling her to sit down and eat. We missed her telling us to put more filling in the pierogis. We missed taking pictures with her in front of the tree. We missed everything about her.

We tried to be present this Christmas without Gram, and we tried to honor and cherish her. We talked about her as we rolled the pierogi dough and decided what to fill it with. We talked about her as we shopped, knowing she would have loved the HUGE Christmas tree at the mall. We asked her to watch over us as we did our traditional “happy thought” on Christmas Eve.

Gram had such an impact on all of those who were lucky enough to have met her. The students from Alliance College still send cards and letters. They share stories with us of both my grandparents. The friends we have from Pennsylvania talk about how much they miss Gram. Friends from Florida talk about how much they enjoyed meeting her and loved seeing her on the boat so many times.

Even though we had Christmas without Gram, I realized how much she is there in all that we do. I realized how much of an impact she had and continues to have on my niece and nephew. Gram’s heart was huge, and I see her light shining through those little ones every day. They smile, they giggle, they laugh. They love making pierogis and baking cookies. This Christmas, we made gingerbread cookies, and they had a blast cutting out the shapes and decorating them. Gram would have loved it. I see Gram’s spirit, as well as my sister’s, shining through in them.

My goal is to keep Gram’s spirit alive by passing down our Polish traditions. I want to show the kids Christmas is not about the presents but about being present in the moment and enjoying each other’s company. It is about Jesus, his birthday, and all that he gave up for us. It is about the Polish tradition of Wigilia. It is about Christmas Eve Mass. It is about waiting all week to open your presents. It is about making pierogis and cookies. It is about spending quality time together with those that you love. It is about driving around and looking at the beautiful and “tacky” Christmas lights.

Although we have several old traditions, we also have new traditions that we are passing on to the kids. They get a gift from their mom every Christmas. My mom has continued her parents’ tradition of getting Lladro for the grandchildren. Gram and Gramps got them for us for 15 years. My mom has started that tradition for her little ones. Jeff and I started the tradition last year of the Christmas snowmen. Jeff built them a cardboard snowman and the kids get presents for each part of the snowman. We try to get them an activity, some clothes, and a toy or game.

In the end, Christmas without Gram was still beautiful and wonderful. We enjoyed the time with the family and the kids. We loved making the pierogis and the mess in the kitchen with our holiday baking. We loved having a family game night. Even though Gram wasn’t with us on Earth we know she was with us in spirit.

In Pilot's Wife

Never Home

October 26, 2021 No Comments

For the past three years, Gram, Jeff, and I have spent winters in our Florida home and summers at Gram’s House in Pennsylvania. We lost Gram in February and life just hasn’t been the same. I have felt lost and sad without her. It really hasn’t gotten any easier. I still miss her face and her smile. But it seems since she has been gone we are never home.

Even though we have always traveled with Gram, there were some trips Gram couldn’t do. So she and I would have some downtime at home. We would sit by the pool or the fire and watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. But since she has been gone, I have had more freedom to go and now we are never home. I am not sure if this summer is going to be our new “normal” but it has definitely been a whirlwind.

Since Jeff and I left Florida in June we have been going nonstop. It is one of the benefits of being a pilot’s wife. He can work from anywhere, and we have some travel benefits. We decided each summer we can try a different area for a month or so. This past summer we decided on Virginia. Over that six weeks, we had many adventures with the kids and created some wonderful memories. But we didn’t get “home” until mid-August.

We left Virginia and headed to West Virginia for Jeff’s uncle’s memorial service. Although the circumstances were sad, it was nice to see his extended family and for me to meet more of his family. The first weekend we were home in PA the family came up for my mom’s surprise 70^th birthday party, then Jeff had training in Kentucky so we spent a week there with friends. Then it was September, and we were off to Virginia for my niece’s birthday. On the way home, we flew to Texas to get Jeff’s mom and spent a few days in West Virginia again with his family. We met friends in Pittsburgh on the way home and went to a Pirates game. For the first few weeks, we were never home.

The next weekend we met up with friends from Chicago that were in the area and had a nice bike ride through the country roads before we drove back to Pittsburgh and flew to our Florida home to check on the house, run the boat, and have dinner with a few of our Florida friends.

On the way home, we met some of Jeff’s high school friends in Pittsburgh and had a great time catching up with them. I thought we were going home but that weekend we drove to Columbus for the Ohio State game. Again, never home. They won which means I am allowed to go back for another game. It was Grandpa’s rule that if you went to a Steeler game, and they lost you weren’t allowed to go back. Jeff seems to have the same rule!

The next weekend we were actually in our small town. We had a campfire in our backyard then went on a wine walk the next day. It was so nice to be around friends and enjoy the area in which we live. The next week my mom came up, and we drove up to Buffalo and the Falls. It really is amazing how many different areas we can get to within a few hours of our summer home.

The next thing I knew it was October, and I felt like I was never home. We seemed to have missed the summer in PA. Now it was time to head to Nashville for the Spartan race. It was such an amazing weekend with the girls, and I loved the Spartan race. I can’t wait to do it again! From there I went to meet my mom and the rest of the family in the Outer Banks, and Jeff was off to work. It was a beautiful few days at the beach with the kids. They love fishing and playing in the waves. It’s amazing how fearless they are of the water. My brother-in-law caught a shark, and they thought it was the coolest thing.

Sunday we went to the Steelers/Broncos game in Pittsburgh. Again, we met up with Jeff’s high school buddies. We had another fun night although it made me miss my grandparents so much. They loved going to the Steelers’ games and had season tickets for years. We also made it to a Browns/Broncos game in Cleveland a few weeks later where we met up with friends and family. The first time I rooted against the Broncos then I had to cheer for them against the Browns. But they lost and our friend, SuperFan, was in his glory for beating them.

The next weekend was a friends’ weekend and we were finally home! We met up with a couple of girls that I went to college with on Friday. Although I hadn’t seen them in a few years, we picked right up where we left off. The next day we went to my friend’s annual pumpkin party. There, we were surrounded by friends I have known since elementary school and a huge bonfire. One of the perks of living in the country. Again, it was so nice being around people I have known forever. That Sunday our friends from the gym invited us over for brunch. We ate a delicious meal and then played Sequence with her daughters and their boyfriends. It was the old fogies against the young bucks and of course, the young bucks won. But it was a wonderful Sunday afternoon and really fun to play a board game with friends.

We have been in our summer home for 10 weeks although it feels like 10 days because we are never home. Yes, our life seems crazy at times but sitting around doing nothing is not our thing. People ask us how we keep track of where we are going and the Google shared calendar is the only way we survive. We share Jeff’s work schedule, our crazy life schedule, and my social schedule when Jeff is gone. If we didn’t have our calendars, we wouldn’t know what to do.

It’s hard to believe we only have about three weeks left in our “summer” home. The weather is starting to change getting colder and wetter. Although it is absolutely beautiful, it’s about time to go south.

It makes me sad to think about leaving. We love the people in northwest PA and our time here. It seems wherever we are I never want to leave. And maybe because wherever we are, we are never “home”. I always want more time. I didn’t want to leave Florida for the summer. I didn’t want to leave Virginia after our six weeks there. I don’t want to leave Pennsylvania for the winter. I guess that makes us lucky that we have such beautiful, amazing friends and family wherever we are that it always feels like “home”. Mostly, I just wish I could be in three places at the same time!

The featured and fall images were taken by my friend and an amazing photographer. Follow her @momma_d.3

In Family

Summertime with the Kids

October 19, 2021 No Comments

We rented a house for six weeks this past summer in Virginia. We wanted to be close to the kids and spend some more time with them. I know we are there almost every other month, but I wanted to be there for the summer without the interference of school and homework. So we did, and it was wonderful!

We got there on July 1. The house we rented was about a 20-minute drive away from the family. And if I were to do it again I would rent something closer. When we got there, we told the kids we had a list of activities we wanted to do with them. They were so excited.

The first week we took them to three different playgrounds and parks. They had so much fun bouncing from one piece of equipment to another. They love making ninja-type obstacle courses and racing each other from one end to the other.

The next week we caught up with friends from the Richmond area that I hadn’t seen in a couple of years. The kids met their kids and enjoyed some pool time together. We also spent time at the pool with friends of the kids. We were very thankful we had some pools to go to because going to Virginia in July really didn’t help us escape from the Florida heat!

For the next few weeks, we took the kids to do many different activities. We found a fun center that had bumper boats, putt-putt, and go-karts. They had so much fun and so did we. I hadn’t ridden a go-kart in years, and I forgot how fun racing around the course could be. My nephew was too little to drive so we rode together and got the fast car. We had a blast lapping my mom and his sister.

Another one of our activities this past summer was taking the kids to the Zoo. I had never been and neither had they. They loved feeding the giraffes and riding the rides. There were only four rides but we had unlimited passes so we rode them all at least twice. Their favorite ride was one that was like a drop zone. They went straight up and bounced back down. Their laughs made my heart so happy. Jeff and I had a wonderful time watching them run from one animal to another. It was a long day but a great day.

Being with the kids meant the world to me. We were so relaxed and stress-free. Even driving from park to park was fun because they were always in the backseat singing. The kids spent the night at our house a few times. It was a two-story home and the steps were carpeted. It’s funny that they figured out how to slide down the steps without anyone telling them to do it.

The kids also loved working out with us in the garage and practicing gymnastics moves in the yard. My niece also was playing softball on the all-star team so I was very grateful that I could be there to watch her play.

One of the most fun we had was decorating rubber ducks and then putting them on other Jeeps in parking lots. Trending on Instagram was #duckduckjeep and the kids loved it. We even got ducked one evening, and they thought it was so much fun.

The kids are growing up so fast. I love their personalities and that they are so independent. It makes me sad that they are getting so big and soon will turn into teenagers that probably won’t care if Aunt Stacy and Uncle Jeff come around. So for now we enjoy the time we can with these sweet little people. I wish I could scoop them up and put them in my back pocket but for now I will just squeeze them as much as possible every chance I get.

In Family

Timing

October 5, 2021 3 Comments

I had the pleasure of spending a beautiful fall day with my mother a couple of weeks ago. We went to Buffalo to our favorite jewelry store. The owner, Gary Grelick, played basketball for my Grandpa and has been a family friend for as long as I can remember. My grandfather loved investing in jewelry for my grandmother and used Bomi Jewelers for all his jewelry needs. Gram didn’t have an engagement ring so I believe my grandfather tried to make up for it later in her life. I guess it’s all about the timing.

Gary has made beautiful and unique pieces for our family over the years. I remember as a child going to the store and just loved being around all those gems. I was in awe looking through all the amazing jewelry cases. No wonder I love diamonds so much 🙂 (plus they happen to be my birthstone!).

This time my mother and I took a road trip up to New York. Mom decided this summer to take off her wedding band and engagement ring. It has been nine years since my dad passed and this summer she decided the timing was right. She wanted Gary to make her something special to wear in place of her band. After a couple of hours of deliberating and trying different pieces, mom decided on a beautiful piece that will incorporate all of our family’s birthstones as well as her engagement ring. It is going to be absolutely gorgeous. I cannot wait for her to get it!

After our trip to the jewelry store, we went to Niagara Falls. We had lunch in our car, went to the Casino for about an hour, and walked around the park. I did win $11. It was a perfect autumn afternoon. Then it was time to leave. I left my mom with her cousins for a fun-filled fall weekend in upstate New York, and I got into my car to head home to PA.

On my way home, I started thinking about my parents and the timing of it all. They knew each other in high school and started dating in their 20’s. They then married and had my sister and me. Their marriage was not perfect, they had many trials and tribulations, but they were making it, and they loved each other.

At age 51, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Lung cancer. Stage 3. It was wrapped around his pulmonary artery, and they were not going to operate. He went through months of radiation and chemo and things were looking stable. He ended up fighting lung cancer on and off for the next nine years. At age 60, the fight was too much, his time on Earth was over, and God took him to Heaven to do other work.

The reason I am telling you all of this is because when he was fighting I was in my late 20’s and early 30’s. I knew he wasn’t “old” but he was my Dad. I guess I never really thought about his AGE or the timing of it. On that car ride home, I thought back to when his battle began, and I realized my husband is the same age as my dad was when his battle began. It has put into perspective how YOUNG my dad was when this all started. And it put into perspective how YOUNG my mom was when he passed and how young she still is.

It has been nine years. I am not sure if my mom has thought about dating. If my mom would have started seeing someone right after my dad passed, maybe I would have been hurt or upset. But now it’s been nine years. I know she loved my dad, and they had a great life together. But now I am wondering when is the time right to move on?

I know it’s different for everyone. Some people move from one relationship to another right after a partner’s death, a divorce, or a break-up. Some people take years to find someone they want to spend time with again. We are all unique. We all deal with death, divorce, and break-ups differently. There is no book to follow and no timeline to adhere to.

It is very difficult to be the person on the outside. Sometimes you want your friend or loved to move on. You want them to “just get over it”. Or sometimes we think “how can they start dating again ALREADY?”. It’s way too soon. The timing is different for everyone in every situation. We can’t judge. We need to be supportive and encouraging. We need to remember we aren’t in the same situation. We don’t know what we would do.

I really would like my mom to find someone to spend the rest of her years with. Now whether she wants someone or not, I don’t know. She has her grandchildren, her family, and her friends. But I pray that God will put someone in her life to travel with, to explore the world with, to experience the grandchildren with. I hope that maybe the timing is right. Maybe taking her ring off is the first step in putting herself out there and being open to the idea of sharing her life with someone.

As I drove home I thought of my family and the losses we have endured. I remember one Christmas we were driving around town looking at the Christmas lights. At that point, everyone in the car was “single”. My brother-in-law just lost my sister, Gram had lost Gramps, and Mom had lost Dad. I was the only one in the car who had decided to divorce my ex-husband and who was dating My Prince 10 years later. All of the others did not choose the path they were on. And it still breaks my heart that they have lost their loves and that half of my family is gone.

So the question remains, when is the time right to move on? One week, one month, one year, five years, 10 years? There is so much to process when you lose someone close to you. Of course, I believe finding the right therapist and talking it out can really help. I also think surrounding yourself with positive, happy people helps. As hard as it is to accept, the loved one isn’t coming back.

So, the question becomes when is the timing right? What do I want? Do I want to do life by myself with friends and family? Do I want a partner to go to dinner with and share the day’s events with before bedtime? Of course, it is an individual decision and finding the right partner to spend time with isn’t always easy.

But remember, life is short. Whatever path you choose, make it a happy one, and count the blessings you do have. Enjoy the time you have left on Earth doing what you love, doing what inspires you, and doing things to inspire others.

In Pilot's Wife

My Music

September 21, 2021 1 Comment

Many people, whether they are single or in a relationship love watching movies, television series, and Netflix. And maybe it’s because Jeff and I barely sit still for one minute let alone for an hour or two to watch TV, but the first thing we do when we walk in the house is turn on the music. In Florida, we use our phones to turn on our Sonos system. In Pennsylvania, we either turn on the Sonos Move that we bring with us or Gramps‘ Bose radio. Either way, music is on ALL THE TIME.

I was trying to think of something to blog about, and I thought why not talk about music. I can learn about your favorite songs and maybe you can listen to a few of mine. I love discovering new music so I hope to hear from many of you about some new (or old) artists that I may not know about and may soon love, too.

My Favorite Music as a Child

I was born in 1976. My parents loved music as well and had it on throughout the weekends. We had a stereo and a record player. In my dad’s Bronco, we also had an 8 track player! Some of you youngsters may have to Google all of that 🙂 but we had a good collection of music. We joined BMG records and would get 12 records or audiocassettes and later CD’s for the price of one. It was the best way to get new music delivered right to your doorstep.

My childhood was filled with the sweet sounds of bands like the Eagles, Michael Jackson, Prince, Kenny Rogers, and Credence Clearwater Revival to name a few. My mom loved Air Supply and REO Speedwagon, and I flash right back to my childhood when I hear any of the above artists. One evening at Gram’s House, we were listening to Brown Eyed Girl on the tape player. My sister and I must have hit play and rewind 100 times trying to learn all the words as my parents would sign along and tell us what was coming up.

My First CD

As I got a little older, the music industry came out with CDs. My first CD was the Boomerang Soundtrack. I had a collection of over 100 CDs by the time I went to college (which got stolen from my car BTW). I had everything from Garth Brooks to Shai to Sophie B. Hawkins to Janet Jackson.

My Favorite Song to Sing with my Best Friend

I have had the same best friend since 7th grade. We played softball and basketball together and developed an everlasting friendship to this day. She was a year younger than me and she won’t let me forget it now! But we would ride around the country roads of our town and learn the words to various songs. Our most favorite that we still send pictures of when it’s playing on Sirius XM is Stay by Lisa Loeb. We still know every word because we kept hitting rewind and signing each line until we KNEW every word. We also love Sophie B. Hawkins and the song Did We Not Choose Each Other. Of course, we also rode all over Edinboro with my portable CD player blasting Janet Jackson’s Janet CD. Other high school memories include our softball team being on the bus with the baseball team and every few weeks after a good win we would all sing Friends in Low Places on the way home. I also loved The Jets Got a Crush on You. And my high school girlfriends will still play it for me when we go out together.

My Favorite Song to Sing

If you know me or have been reading this blog for a while then you know my favorite song to sing after a few beers is Dreams by Van Halen. Jeff’s mom had the pleasure of listening to me sing a few weeks ago. Although she laughed and laughed, I am afraid I may have scared her away. Hopefully she comes back for another performance very soon.

My Favorite Artist to Sing that Sounds a Liiiiiitttttttllle Better than Sammy But Not Much

My roommate from college brought a double-disc live CD back from a concert she went to one summer. The artist was Ani Difranco and it was her Living In Clip CD. Ani opened for Bob Dylan that summer of 97 in Boston. Once D brought her into our lives, we couldn’t stop listening to her. We listened to those two CDs over and over again. I can still turn on almost any Ani song and know the words. I love Gravel, Little Plastic Castles, Angry Anymore. Shameless and Buildings and Bridges. My husband says I sound much better singing any Ani song rather than any Van Halen song. So I am going with it.

Other CDs that I wore out in college were TLC’s CrazySexyCool, Sheryl Crow’s Tuesday Night Music Club, and Dave Matthews Band Before These Crowded Streets. Our favorite concert to go to in college was DMB. So much fun!

Music When You are in Love

I believe these songs change over time as you and your partner grow into different stages of your relationship and one song may work for one relationship but if that relationship ends another song fills the void when a new partner is found. Jeff and I love making playlists on Spotify and some of our favorite songs from the beginning of our relationship until now are Written in the Sand, Happens Like That, What Ifs, Unforgettable, Meant to Be, Whole Lot in Love, The Bones, More, and Made For You. We started a playlist when we started dating and made it collaborative so we could add to it as time went on. It’s still one of my favorites. If you don’t have Spotify, you should check it out. For $10-15 a month you can listen to almost any full album by any artist new or old. You can also make and share playlists.

When You Need a Good Cry

This song Show Me Around brings tears to my eyes. It really hit me after Gram passed but it makes me think of my dad, sister, and grandpa as well. If you have lost someone this song can bring you some hope even though it will make you a bit sad, too. Drink a Beer, Watch Over You, and I Will Not Say Goodbye are a few more to put on when you are missing your person.

When You Hang out with Your Girlfriends

My sister and I loved listening to music, too. So many songs and CDs make me think of her. A few of our favorites were The Wreckers, Dixie Chicks, Taylor Swift, Luke Bryan, and Indigo Girls. Whenever I hear an older song from one of these artists, I instantly go back to the moment with my sister. One of our favorite songs, when we were tired of a relationship and needed to be strong and move on, was Fergie’s Big Girls Don’t Cry. We used to love driving around to this song with the top-down on my VW EOS signing at the top of our lungs.

So whatever mood you are in, check out a few of these songs. Also, please comment or email me a few of your favorites! I love listening to all kinds of music, especially new artists. Oh btw, three more artists to check out on YouTube, Spotify, Amazon Music, or ApplePlay are O.A.R, Diamond Dixie, and Amber Patino. Enjoy!!

Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

In Family

Jeff’s mom

September 14, 2021 No Comments

As you read in My Prince, I met Jeff in 2017. Prior to this past week, I only met his mother once when we were in Dallas for a wedding. She was having major back issues and seemed very uncomfortable and in a lot of pain. Since then, we have invited Jeff’s mom to several events but she has been hesitant and unwilling to travel. Plus, she had a small dog that needed care. Jeff saw her a few times as he has had layovers in the area.

This summer Jeff’s mom finally said yes! She agreed to come to West Virginia to see her children and grandchildren and other family members. Recently, her little pup was not doing well and needed to be put down. We are heartbroken for her but she no longer had any excuses. So Jeff’s mom was on her way!

Jeff and I agreed to go to Texas to get her and help her maneuver the airport. Although we had to take a roundabout way of getting back to Pennsylvania from Virginia, it was worth it. I think us being there for her really helped her relax and feel more confident about getting on a plane again. Although she was a flight attendant for 25 years she hasn’t really flown since she retired. And I think we were all nervous about how Jeff’s mom would do. But she checked herself in and was at the gate by the time we got our bags and checked back in to met her at the gate. Sometimes you just need to take the leap! And we were so happy that Jeff’s mom was taking the leap at 74!

We were able to celebrate a wonderful birthday dinner as a family with Jeff’s mom on her birthday. She was happy to be surrounded by family on her big day. And we all had a wonderful time. I think sometimes the anxiety of a situation is worse than the actual situation. We all had a great time celebrating this lovely lady. And I hope she felt that, too.

Jeff’s sister lives at the top of a hill in West Virginia with a beautiful overlook. She also has four dogs and Jeff’s mom loved every one of them (as did Gram :)). She has talked about how she loves the views from Jenn’s porch. She loves the birds, the deer, and “even the groundhogs”. Actually, we think she likes it so much that after 35 years away she may move back to West Virginia. And our fingers are crossed that she does!

So in the end it doesn’t matter if you are 8, 15, 21, 32, 50, or 75 the anxiety of a situation is usually much worse than the actual situation. And sometimes no matter how old you are or what situation you are in, sometimes you just need to take the leap!! I, for one, think it will all be alright and whatever will be will be. Just do it!

In Family

MacAttack

September 7, 2021 1 Comment

Happy Birthday to my niece and my mother-in-law!

Today is my niece’s ninth birthday. I cannot believe she is nine already. Where does the time go? I remember holding her the day she was born. She had the darkest hair but a full head of it! When my sister was born she had a full head of the darkest hair, too! Then she became the blondest of blonds. I couldn’t wait to see what this little one would turn into. And just nine years later, she is a beast on the softball field with the nickname MacAttack.

She is the most beautiful little girl. She has blue-green eyes and light brown hair. Watching her grow up has been one of the best experiences of my life. From taking her first steps to saying her first word to learning the colors of the rainbow to reading her first book and now playing softball. It’s just amazing how quickly these little people grow right up.

I miss holding her and cuddling with her. She thinks she’s all grown up. She doesn’t want to hold my hand anymore out in public and rarely will sit on the couch and snuggle. But I hold on to every moment that she does. And I told her I am squeezing her every chance I get. Of course, I get the pre-teen roll of the eyes.

Because my sister loved Luke Bryan so does my niece. I remember MacAttack singing his songs all the time. She knew every word and knows most of the words to every country song now. I love watching her sing and dance. She has no worries or insecurities. She just does what she enjoys doing unlike the rest of us who worry about what we look like. She and my nephew will sing and dance in the back seat of the car or in the restaurant. Watching them is one of my most favorite things to do.

My sister and I were about three years apart and so are my niece and nephew. Although we had our issues, we got along really well, and I miss her so much every day. I am happy to say that my niece and nephew get along really, really well, too. They love playing with each other and MacAttack loves being the big sister. She is so excited to take him to school this year. She will be in fourth grade and he is starting kindergarten. She is protective of him and doesn’t want him to hurt himself when he does all the boy things he does! Just wait until he starts hitting on all of her girlfriends (which he already does!).

I am so proud to be MacAttack’s aunt. I was so proud of her and the way she would treat Babcia (Gram). MacAttack would take her hand and walk her to the door. I hope she learns to be an independent, happy woman. I hope she always sings and dances whenever she feels like it. I hope she knows there is no limit to what she can do and no boundaries. She can be whatever she wants to be. And I hope she knows her aunt is one of her biggest fans.

In Adventures with Gram

Gram’s House

August 31, 2021 4 Comments

As most of you know, I started taking care of Gram in 2016. Then she passed away on February 24, 2021, and life hasn’t been the same without her. Also, as most of you know, I met my husband, Jeff, along the way and became a snowbird. The three of us have been spending winters in Florida and summers at Gram’s House in Pennsylvania.

Over the past five years, we have done several updates to Gram’s House. When I first moved back in 2016, my mom reminded me that Grandma and Grandpa built their house in 1967. It’s a three-bedroom, two-bathroom ranch with a one-car garage. I have always loved Gram’s House and I love it, even more, knowing that they built it just the way they wanted it.

Once I moved in I thought some updates were definitely needed. The rug in Gram’s House was so old. I don’t know if I remembered it being any other color but blue. I told mom we should get a new carpet, and she said there were hardwood floors underneath. Not sure why my grandparents covered them up but I, along with my cousin, Pat, decided to uncover them! And wow, are they beautiful!

Over the past five years, we have done quite a few updates. The floors are all new, we updated the little bathroom, got a new roof, and finally took the wallpaper off the kitchen walls. We added a little backsplash and made it a little homier and less 1980’s. Gram enjoyed the changes although, at one point, I mentioned painting the kitchen cabinets gray and white, and she was not having it. Other than that, she was happy and she always said, this is your house. You and Jeff.

When she passed away we weren’t sure what to do with the house. The housing market in our area was booming, and the house was worth more than we could have ever imagined it would be worth. Even at her funeral, we had a few people interested in Gram’s House. One of our local churches wanted it for a pastoral home. My mom, Jeff, and I were excited about this offer. We knew if the family wasn’t going to be in the house that Gram and Gramps built then perhaps Gram and Gramps would want the church to have it. The church would maintain it and do all the upkeep on the place. Our biggest fear was that someone would move in and not appreciate Gram’s House. We believed the church would take care of it and it would continue to be a part of the community that meant so much to my grandparents.

Well, that deal didn’t happen, and we were at a loss. My mom recently moved to Virginia to be close with her grandchildren so she didn’t need another house. We didn’t need another house. We made the decision that we would clean out Gram’s House this summer and put a For Sale sign in the yard.

But then it happened. I drove across the back roads and down the hill and pulled into the driveway. I loved this house. Could I let it go? Did I want to let it go? Jeff and I loved coming to Pennsylvania for the summers. Where would we stay? My mom was coming up in a few days for my grandpa’s memorial golf tournament. We were going to clean things out and get Gram’s House ready to sell. But as we went through things it became more and more clear. I wasn’t ready.

After a few days of cleaning and reminiscing, I talked to my mom. I couldn’t let it go. Would she sell it to us? Would she want to keep it in the family? And much to my relief…she said Yes! I didn’t know if I was just being emotional or not. But I talked to my therapist (because I have one and believe everyone should talk to someone because mental health is just as important as physical health) and she said to consider the 4 Rs. Is the decision Reasonable, Rational, Realistic and what will you Regret less? So, in the end, I talked to my husband. Were we being emotional? Was it reasonable and rational? What would we regret less? Together, we decided we wanted to buy Gram’s House.

We love Gram’s house, the layout, the location, and the memories. We couldn’t let it go. My husband, mother, and I came up with a plan and everything was super easy. We went to First Choice Settlements and the closing took about 10 minutes. I am so proud and excited to say that the first BIG purchase Jeff and I made together was to buy Gram’s House. And even though it’s ours now, and we will probably make more changes, I don’t know if I will ever call it anything other than Gram’s House. And I hope that anyone who comes to our house feels the love, presence, and generosity that was instilled in Gram’s house by my grandparents.

In Adventures with Gram

Kuma

August 24, 2021 No Comments

Kuma is our cat. She’s just a regular old tabby cat but she looks like a main coon. Nine years ago, a friend asked if I wanted her. I had been debating on getting a cat. I wanted a pet but I enjoyed being single and having no responsibility as well. I thought maybe a cat would be easy enough. My friend had two young boys who were tormenting Kuma by chasing her around and pulling her tail. She was going to have to get rid of Kuma because she felt it was best. I decided to take a chance on her so Kuma came to live with me.

Kuma was seven years old when I got her. She was so afraid of everything. The first week I didn’t see her. I actually thought she somehow escaped, and I lost her. Another friend and her pup came over, and we finally found her behind the washing machine.

After that Kuma became a little friendlier to me, but any time she heard any other voice in the house she would run and hide under the bed. Eventually, she learned that people were going to be in and out of the house so she needed to be more social. After a few years, she would still retreat to the bedroom but she would be on top of the bed.

Kuma was afraid of children and even scratched my niece twice. I got her declawed after that. My mom reluctantly took her when I went off to Thailand but as soon as I returned to the USA she gave her right back. I took her to Gram’s house. Eventually, Gram and Kuma became best of friends although Kuma bit Gram once and gave her cat scratch fever. She is a very finicky cat. But eventually, they would nap together during the day in Gram’s chair, by the pool, or on the couch. They both loved laying in the sun and being lazy.

Kuma would sleep with Gram during the day but then sleep with me at night. That was until my husband came into the picture. He was not having animals in the bed. I agreed. I believe the bedroom is for sleeping and intimacy. We don’t have a TV in our room either to cause distractions. So, Kuma eventually learned the ways of Jeff, and she would sleep with Gram when he was around and sleep with me when he went on a trip.

When Gram passed, Kuma was so confused. She didn’t know where to go at night when Jeff was home. She would sit right outside our bedroom door and meow in the middle of the night. This went on for weeks. Eventually, we decided to let Kuma in the bed but she had to sleep on a little blanket at the bottom of the bed. She does pretty well staying on her blanket, and I think she is just happy to be next to warm bodies. She purrs a lot which ends up waking up my husband, which is crazy that he can hear that purr but is nearly deaf half the other times.

In the end, even though Kuma is not the friendliest cat, she does love us, and we love her. It’s amazing how these little creatures become such a big part of your family. She follows us around and seems like she has so much she wants to say. If only we could understand her.