nevertoooldtotry Archives - Page 9 of 10 - Inspired & Strong | Making the Best of Every Day with Stacy

Mothers

May 10, 2022 No Comments

Mothers. Mothers. Mothers. They come in all shapes and sizes. Biological mothers, adoptive mothers, stepmothers, fur baby mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers. Some people have wonderful relationships with their mothers and some have no relationship at all.

The definition of a mother starts with one who gives birth, adopts, or raises a child. But being a mother is more than just giving birth or raising a child. It is teaching your children right from wrong. It is giving them opportunities to explore their own wants and needs. It is letting them experience a little bit of life on their own while they are young so that when they grow up they have the tools needed to succeed.

Now the definition of success may mean different things to different people. And sometimes what you want your child to succeed in doesn’t meet your expectations. Maybe you wanted your child to have babies so you could be a grandma but that didn’t happen. Maybe you wanted your child to go to college and they didn’t. Maybe you wanted them to build a house on the same farm you grew up on and they moved away. When expectations are not met, it can be very hard on relationships. And disappointment can set in.

Most mothers want more for their children than they do for themselves. They want to see their children happy. They want to see their children reaching for and achieving their dreams. They are the cheerleaders behind their children. They are there to pick them up and brush them off when they fall. They are there to tell them everything is going to be alright. And sometimes the mothers need to tell themselves that from time to time. And most importantly, mothers need to take care of themselves first so they can be the best caretakers to others.

In any situation, we need to embrace the positive. Check out these 21 Characteristics of a Good Mother. Take a moment to click on the link. Not only can it help you in motherhood but just overall in being a good human being.

“If we are not happy, then we can’t expect them to be either. A good mom is one who is always positive and looks on the bright side of things. This doesn’t mean that she is always happy, but she can find something good in every situation.”

Find your positives and embrace them in every situation. Happy Tuesday and Happy Mother’s Day Week!

Photo by Xavier Mouton Photographie on Unsplash

In Fitness and Nutrition

Alcohol

May 3, 2022 No Comments

“I’ve influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemmingway write like he did
And I’ll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
Put that lampshade on your head

‘Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making a fool out of folks just like you
And helping white people dance
I’m medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times
You’ll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol”

The lyrics above are from Brad Paisley’s song “Alcohol“. Alcohol can definitely make you do some crazy things. It also can do some destruction to your body. Eight weeks ago I decided to quit drinking alcohol. My body needed a break. I felt bloated. My eyes looked tired. I didn’t feel good. My body hurt. I felt lazy. I felt like I had been on a drinking binge for over three months. Most people enjoy having a few drinks with their friends. Our problem is our friends and social life never end. Therefore, neither does the alcohol. We go skiing, so we drink. We have friends in town, so we drink. We go out on the boat, so we drink. Most people take breaks between big events but most times we have a new set of friends in town so the fun (and alcohol) keeps flowing.

This year it started in December. Jeff took some vacation time so we went on a ski week to Copper Mountain. Then we had Christmas and friends in town for New Year’s Eve. Then we had another ski week in Taos and when we returned to town more friends were here. February was filled with friends visiting from out of town throughout the whole month with the last week spent with four friends in the Keys with the Harley. As I look back on the year, I realize that between vacations, Jeff’s work schedule, and friends in town Jeff and I only had about eight days alone in our home.

It was March 2 which happened to be Ash Wednesday. I figured it was the old Catholic in me and a sign from Heaven that told me, “Stacy, it’s the perfect time to give something up”. And.Just.Like.That. I decided I needed to take a break from drinking. I also realized there were eight more weeks of Dream Team left. If you have been following my blog then you know that when I was living in Pennsylvania I became involved in the Dream Team contest which happens every year. It’s 16 weeks of dialing in your eating and becoming a little more strict with your lifestyle. Since 2017, I have been following the nutrition plan that I learned from Bill Lawrence’s Personal Fitness. Personally, I follow the program year-round. There are times I just become a little more strict than others. I decided to do my own eight-week dream team which would take me right at the May 1 weekend when we would be leaving for vacation to the British Virgin Islands.

The first week wasn’t too bad of a challenge. We had two concerts. I decided to just take it one day at a time. On the fourth day, I made it through the Sammy Hagar concert that we attended with one of Jeff’s high school buddies and his fiance. That night my husband told me he was so proud of me for not drinking. It really hit me and gave me increased motivation to keep going.

I was pretty nervous about the upcoming ski week. I have been attending ski weeks for over four years and not one of them has been sober. Everyone ended up being really supportive. It definitely was a different experience with no alcohol, but it was really fun all the same! I skied well, went to the gym a few times, felt great at night, and even sneaked in a dessert for dinner 🙂 I ended up having a few non-alcoholic beers on the mountain and felt just as much a part of the group as if I had a regular beer in my hand.

Once I made it through ski week, I knew I could make it through anything! I realized I didn’t NEED alcohol to have a good time or to be out and about. I realized drinking is a social thing for us. The problem is we are SOOOO social that drinking becomes an almost everyday thing.

My husband was the most supportive being. It meant the world to me to have his support and encouragement. Halfway through my experiment, he could see the changes in my face, my energy, and my body. Therefore, he decided to quit too, and even though he only gave up drinking for 30 days, he felt better about his workouts, body, and energy level. We did this together and it means the world to me. We both can see a few abs, and we love it!

Over the last eight weeks, I realized I can do things without alcohol. I went on a ski week and had a great time. I even tried a few non-alcoholic beers. I never understood why people drank those until I quit drinking. During social events, everyone has a drink in their hand. And most times water just isn’t going to cut it. When you have that can or bottle in your hand you feel a part of the group. It’s definitely a mental thing but just having a “beer” in my hand made me feel ok.

Everyone was so supportive over my eight-week journey. I found that no one really cares whether or not I drank alcohol. I found that I still laugh, I still enjoy my friends, and I am more aware of what is going on around me! My workouts were better and I felt great overall. I lost 5.4 pounds and .8% body fat.

Over the eight weeks, I ate as we normally eat in our lifestyle. I did sneak in a few desserts and ice cream the first few weeks. But then I decided to get a little more strict because I knew I wanted to look good in that bikini in the British Virgin Islands in May.

So if you are struggling with alcohol and feel like you need a break, just take it one day at a time. It actually became really fun for me. Some people didn’t think I could do it so I had to prove them wrong! And I am so glad I did. I had to prove to myself I didn’t need the alcohol. So now the challenge becomes pacing myself!

Featured photo by Adam Wilson on Unsplash

In How We Move

7 Rounds of 7 Abs

March 9, 2022 No Comments

Equipment Needed

one dumbbell (optional)

Weekly Wednesday Workout

Here is the third set of our 7 Rounds series. In today’s workout, you will do seven rounds of 7 reps of four ab movements. Rest as needed in between each round.

Movements for each round:

7 Russian twists
7 crunches
7 legs to the left
7 legs to the right

How to Do the Moves

For the video of movements click here. Remember there are always modifications. Let me know if you need help or suggestions. Don’t forget the warm-up. Make this workout work for you!

Photo by Andre Taissin on Unsplash

In Family

Grow Up

February 1, 2022 No Comments

My husband sent me an article called “3 Signs You Are Growing Old Instead of Growing Up” from one of the subscriptions he gets from All Pro Dad. All Pro Dad is a great website for inspiration on how to deal with different situations with your children. Although the website focuses more on men (and dads in particular), I think it can be read by all. We are all growing older, every day. So what do we want to do with our lives going forward? What are our goals for the remainder of our lives? And once we achieve them do we just stop or chase another dream or goal? Or are we satisfied and become complacent? How can we grow up instead of just growing old?

“A good way to grow up instead of growing old is to get out of your comfort zone.”

The quote above says it all. No matter how old or young you are, get out of your comfort zone. Try something new or scary. Be willing to take the leap of faith. Do what you are passionate about. Show your children, your family, or your friends that you are willing to try something that may make you uncomfortable. Grow your soul.

I have a friend who cannot swim. She is afraid of the water but she has put herself out of her comfort zone several times. She enjoys being on the water on a boat and even has a trip planned to spend six days on a catamaran sailing the British Virgin Islands. I am so proud and excited for her. If she wasn’t willing to put herself out there (with a lifejacket of course), she would miss out on the most beautiful waters and sites of the islands. How fun is that?

Jeff and I try to keep our relationship alive and young by complementing each other, staying active, and eating healthy. We want to stay sexy for each other, stay active and athletic so we can leap out of our comfort zone as we get older. We want to be able to try new things like skiing (for me), scuba diving (for us both), or hiking no matter how old we are in years. The more active we stay, the more active we can be as we age. If we become complacent in our lifestyle, those things may not be as easy, and we may not be as motivated to try new things. And anyone who knows me knows I have FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), so I definitely don’t want to grow old!

Wherever you are in your life, don’t be afraid to try new things. Pray on it. Make a list of pros and cons. Get out there and live. Life is too short. Be an inspiration for your partner. Be an inspiration for your children and grandchildren. Get out there and grow up, not old!

Photo by Razvan Chisu on Unsplash

In Fitness and Nutrition

Insecurity

January 18, 2022 No Comments

“The American Psychological Association reports that insecurity is multifaceted. It pertains to an overall sense of uncertainty or anxiety about your worth, abilities, skills, and value as a person, conveying the message that you’re at risk or in danger of something or someone. That negative impact of insecurity could be physical, mental, or emotional. Without security, you can’t accomplish full trust or function to your fullest potential.”

Why do we have insecurity? Are we influenced by outside factors? Is there a way to feel more confident about relationships, our looks, our bodies, our talents, our jobs, and our material goods? Why are we so negative to ourselves? And how do we overcome it? Check out this website.

I try to be a positive person, and I try to count my blessings for all that I have in life and for all the amazing people I have met. But sometimes insecurity creeps in, and I feel anxious, sad, hopeless, or depressed. And that’s when I need to check myself and find ways to overcome it. I feel if you don’t deal with the insecurity it can really pull you into a deep dark place. Because I don’t want to stay in that place of insecurity, I take action to cope with it by talking to my husband, my therapist, or reading some self-help books. One of my favorite authors is SARK. Just picking up one of her books makes me smile. Her website is filled with positive thoughts and reinforcements as well. Two of my favorite books are Succulent Wild Woman and Transformation Soup.

It’s so hard when you see insecurity in others whether it be friends or family members. You want to tell them they have no reason to be insecure because you see all of their amazing qualities even when they don’t see it in themselves. They are smart or beautiful or talented. But when you feel it yourself you understand why others feel that way, too. Sometimes it’s so hard to believe that the most beautiful, famous, successful woman is insecure. We think how can she be insecure when she has it all (or what we think is “all”). But guess what? Insecurities are there for everyone. We just need to figure out how to deal with them in a healthy way.

“Insecurity is a universal experience, but not all people experience insecurity so intensely that it disrupts their life and ability to function. If insecurity is creating unwanted impacts in your mental, social, or physical health, it could be time to take action and address the issue with professional support and assistance” (written by Eric Patterson, LPC).

Somehow we need to figure out how to be more confident and count our blessings. No matter who we are, we have so much. We have our lives, our health, our families, and our friends. We have roofs over our heads, food to eat, and freedom to explore. We need to remember that every situation is just that, a situation. We need to form our response to that situation and that can be in a positive or a negative way. We create our own happiness and security. Positive self-talk, pushing away negative feelings, looking forward to the future, and focusing on the good in this world can make a huge difference.

Photo by Melanie Wasser on Unsplash

In Travel Junkie

Copper Mountain

December 14, 2021 No Comments

As you read previously, every month from January through March, there is an airline ski week. The 2021 season has begun! This year the ski weeks are Copper Mountain, CO, Taos, NM, Telluride, CO, Squaw, CA, and there is an international ski week in Lenzerheide, Switzerland. My husband has been going for almost 10 years now, but I am just starting my fourth season.

The second ski week of my life was in December 2019 at Copper Mountain. It wasn’t an official ski week but we had opportunities for discounted lodging and ski lessons. I participated in a few lessons and learned a lot! It was very helpful. That week is a bit more low-key. Three airlines get together, have an ugly sweater pub crawl, a white elephant Christmas exchange, and camaraderie. It’s a wonderful week.

In 2019, we weren’t able to find anyone to watch Gram so as you know she goes where we go. I didn’t realize how high the mountain was but she had no trouble with the change in altitude. She was such an amazing woman.

Last week we went to Copper Mountain again, and it all came back to me. The memories, the fun times, the shot ski’s and the missing her. She loved the snow and the Christmas lights. She would have been so happy to see it all again. The holidays are always hard when you have lost someone but the first one without them seems to be the most difficult. And here we are coming up on Christmas without Gram. Although I am excited to see the kids and my mom, I am going to miss sweet Gram supervising us while we try to make some Polish pierogies. (Although this is not her recipe, it is very similar.)

Copper Mountain is a great ski resort and mountain. They have plenty of green and blue runs which are the easiest and it isn’t really a confusing mountain. All the ski runs are together for the most part. All the greens are on one side, the blues in the middle, and the blacks (the most difficult) on the other end. There are a few parts where they mix but it makes it easy for those who do not want to get stuck up high on the mountain with no easy way down.

I have improved my skiing over the past few years. I think I have now skied 33 days in my life. Woo hoo! I am feeling a little more confident but when I start going fast, boy, am I scared to death of wiping out! I do love it. I love the different places we go and the opportunity to see the amazing views from 10,000 feet in the air.

Hopefully, I continue to improve and do well. Being up so high is absolutely breathtaking with the snow-capped mountains. It really is something special. Even if you don’t want to take the chance of skiing down the mountain, going to a mountain top resort and staying a few days to drink hot chocolate is absolutely worth it.

In Pilot's Wife

Time To Go

November 16, 2021 2 Comments

We left northwest PA just in time. My husband had a trip and returned home Saturday morning. The weather was a mix of sleet and snow when I picked him up. The roads were still too warm for anything to stick but I could smell it. Snow was coming. It was time to pack up and head south.

Usually, we get to Pennsylvania in June. This year, we went to Virginia for six weeks to spend time with the kids so we didn’t get settled in PA until the middle of August. By the time we got there, everyone was going back to work and summer was pretty much over.

It went so fast, and we couldn’t believe it. It seemed like we just didn’t have enough time to enjoy the area. It is truly so beautiful in the summer. The days are long, the weather is beautiful, the creeks are made for kayaks, and the back windy roads are made for motorcycles. Because we were so late getting to PA this year we decided to stay at Gram’s House a bit longer. We got to enjoy the full beauty of fall. The leaves were beautiful reds, greens, and yellows. Then, of course, we had the chore of raking them all up, too! Although we could have left a few weeks ago, Jeff had a few more trips, so we decided to stay.

A few weeks ago, it rained and rained. I escaped for about four days with a friend to Florida for some sunshine. We came back for the weekend and then Jeff had another trip. I spent the week trying to get things packed up and the house cleaned. Finally, it was time to go.

It’s always sad to leave wherever we are. We have such amazing friends and even though we are never home, we never want to leave.

I saw in the forecast that snow was coming. It was cold. It was getting dry. The heat was on. I picked up Jeff in that sleet, and we both decided it was time to go.

We had one last fun night out with some friends. The next day we woke up and to our surprise, no snow was falling down. We shut down the house, packed up the Jeep, and got on the road. The weather was cold, but no rain and no snow.

A few hours later, we got a couple of texts from our friends. One of them said, “I’m glad you got out of town when you did. This sucks!” Then we got a few pictures from our friend Meghan. Although my husband was relieved we didn’t have to leave town in a snowstorm, I thought it was beautiful, and I was a little sad that we missed it.

It’s always nice to be in the snow when you know you get to go back to the sunshine and warmth. I am ready for the sun, the boat, the beach, and the beautiful paradise of southwest Florida. But I did feel a bit of sadness about missing the first real snowfall of the season in northwest Pennsylvania.

Driving from Florida to Pennsylvania or from Pennsylvania to Florida is one of my favorite things to do. We take our time and drive a few hours a day. It takes us four or five days but we stop along the way and see amazing family and friends who are en route. So although it’s sad to leave one place when it’s time to go, it’s a great adventure getting to the other.

Picture of woods by @momma_d.3

In How We Move

10-1 Shoulders

November 10, 2021 No Comments

Equipment Needed

dumbbells (light to medium weight)

Weekly Wednesday Workout

In today’s workout, you will do 10 reps down to one rep of four different shoulder movements. You will do 10 reps, then 9 reps, then 8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1. If you need to modify you can always just do the even-numbered reps.

Movements for each round:

Upright row
Arnold Press
Lateral raises
Front raises

How to Do the Moves

For the video of movements click here. Remember there are always modifications. Let me know if you need help or suggestions. Don’t forget the warm-up. Make this workout work for you!

Photo by Nigel Msipa on Unsplash

In Family

Let Go

November 2, 2021 No Comments

Sometimes I think we forget that we have no control over other people. We only have control over our own thoughts and reactions to situations. We can only do our best with the information we have and the situation we are in. We can’t make other people do something or stop doing something. We can offer advice, we can give our opinion, we can get mad, we can get upset, but sometimes we need to just let go.

We all have our own minds and information and all we can do is what is best or what we think is best for us at the time. For example, in 2015, although I had a great job, great friends, and lived in a great town. I decided what was best for me is to let go, take a leap of faith, quit my job, and move. So many people don’t take that chance and feel they have to stay in that job or that town for their family even if they are miserable.

What so many people don’t see is that staying in the same situation and being miserable makes everyone around you miserable. Negativity breeds negativity. People want to smile. They want to be happy. So let go of the negativity and be happy. See the positives of the situation. Change what you can but let go of the things you can’t.

I forget this sometimes, and I want to change what people are doing or what they are thinking, or how they are reacting to a situation. And in the end, I need to let it go. I need to realize I am responsible for myself. I am responsible for my happiness. I am responsible for my actions. And when I do that and let go, I am happy.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

In Family

Timing

October 5, 2021 3 Comments

I had the pleasure of spending a beautiful fall day with my mother a couple of weeks ago. We went to Buffalo to our favorite jewelry store. The owner, Gary Grelick, played basketball for my Grandpa and has been a family friend for as long as I can remember. My grandfather loved investing in jewelry for my grandmother and used Bomi Jewelers for all his jewelry needs. Gram didn’t have an engagement ring so I believe my grandfather tried to make up for it later in her life. I guess it’s all about the timing.

Gary has made beautiful and unique pieces for our family over the years. I remember as a child going to the store and just loved being around all those gems. I was in awe looking through all the amazing jewelry cases. No wonder I love diamonds so much 🙂 (plus they happen to be my birthstone!).

This time my mother and I took a road trip up to New York. Mom decided this summer to take off her wedding band and engagement ring. It has been nine years since my dad passed and this summer she decided the timing was right. She wanted Gary to make her something special to wear in place of her band. After a couple of hours of deliberating and trying different pieces, mom decided on a beautiful piece that will incorporate all of our family’s birthstones as well as her engagement ring. It is going to be absolutely gorgeous. I cannot wait for her to get it!

After our trip to the jewelry store, we went to Niagara Falls. We had lunch in our car, went to the Casino for about an hour, and walked around the park. I did win $11. It was a perfect autumn afternoon. Then it was time to leave. I left my mom with her cousins for a fun-filled fall weekend in upstate New York, and I got into my car to head home to PA.

On my way home, I started thinking about my parents and the timing of it all. They knew each other in high school and started dating in their 20’s. They then married and had my sister and me. Their marriage was not perfect, they had many trials and tribulations, but they were making it, and they loved each other.

At age 51, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Lung cancer. Stage 3. It was wrapped around his pulmonary artery, and they were not going to operate. He went through months of radiation and chemo and things were looking stable. He ended up fighting lung cancer on and off for the next nine years. At age 60, the fight was too much, his time on Earth was over, and God took him to Heaven to do other work.

The reason I am telling you all of this is because when he was fighting I was in my late 20’s and early 30’s. I knew he wasn’t “old” but he was my Dad. I guess I never really thought about his AGE or the timing of it. On that car ride home, I thought back to when his battle began, and I realized my husband is the same age as my dad was when his battle began. It has put into perspective how YOUNG my dad was when this all started. And it put into perspective how YOUNG my mom was when he passed and how young she still is.

It has been nine years. I am not sure if my mom has thought about dating. If my mom would have started seeing someone right after my dad passed, maybe I would have been hurt or upset. But now it’s been nine years. I know she loved my dad, and they had a great life together. But now I am wondering when is the time right to move on?

I know it’s different for everyone. Some people move from one relationship to another right after a partner’s death, a divorce, or a break-up. Some people take years to find someone they want to spend time with again. We are all unique. We all deal with death, divorce, and break-ups differently. There is no book to follow and no timeline to adhere to.

It is very difficult to be the person on the outside. Sometimes you want your friend or loved to move on. You want them to “just get over it”. Or sometimes we think “how can they start dating again ALREADY?”. It’s way too soon. The timing is different for everyone in every situation. We can’t judge. We need to be supportive and encouraging. We need to remember we aren’t in the same situation. We don’t know what we would do.

I really would like my mom to find someone to spend the rest of her years with. Now whether she wants someone or not, I don’t know. She has her grandchildren, her family, and her friends. But I pray that God will put someone in her life to travel with, to explore the world with, to experience the grandchildren with. I hope that maybe the timing is right. Maybe taking her ring off is the first step in putting herself out there and being open to the idea of sharing her life with someone.

As I drove home I thought of my family and the losses we have endured. I remember one Christmas we were driving around town looking at the Christmas lights. At that point, everyone in the car was “single”. My brother-in-law just lost my sister, Gram had lost Gramps, and Mom had lost Dad. I was the only one in the car who had decided to divorce my ex-husband and who was dating My Prince 10 years later. All of the others did not choose the path they were on. And it still breaks my heart that they have lost their loves and that half of my family is gone.

So the question remains, when is the time right to move on? One week, one month, one year, five years, 10 years? There is so much to process when you lose someone close to you. Of course, I believe finding the right therapist and talking it out can really help. I also think surrounding yourself with positive, happy people helps. As hard as it is to accept, the loved one isn’t coming back.

So, the question becomes when is the timing right? What do I want? Do I want to do life by myself with friends and family? Do I want a partner to go to dinner with and share the day’s events with before bedtime? Of course, it is an individual decision and finding the right partner to spend time with isn’t always easy.

But remember, life is short. Whatever path you choose, make it a happy one, and count the blessings you do have. Enjoy the time you have left on Earth doing what you love, doing what inspires you, and doing things to inspire others.