Sister’s Memorial

My sister has been gone a little over four years now. A few months ago, my mom ordered a headstone for her to lie next to that of my dad, uncle and grandparents . My mom still struggles as you can imagine. She wanted the headstone to be placed in the cemetary in our small town in Northwestern Pennsylvania. She wanted a resting spot for her little girl near her when she is laid to rest. And she wanted to have a little memorial to honor her.

After a few design ideas, my mom ordered a headstone. She put my sister’s husband’s name on it as well since they were married when she passed. Whether their children will bury any of his ashes there beside my sister is up to them. But for now, there is a piece of her where people can go and say hello.

The headstone was placed this summer. My mom lives in Virginia so she decided to have a little memorial in August (my sister’s birthday month) to bury some of her ashes at the gravesite. That weekend she also decided to organize a golf outing for my dad’s side of the family.

The weekend ended up being absolutely wonderful. My mom came in Thursday, and we had some fun times together shopping and getting things ready for the weekend. On Friday, my hubby came home, and we went up to the gravesite to dig holes and clean the graves. I kept asking my mom if she was ready for the memorial and knew what she was going to say. She said, “I am just winging it!” I said, “Ok.” I am not good at speaking in front of people so I knew I needed to write some thoughts down.

Later that evening my mom’s best friend since first grade come to the house and spent the night. We also had some family friends over for a campfire. We shared many memories of my sister, my dad, my mom’s best friend’s cousin, and of course sweet Gram. It was a wonderful night of friendship, laughter, and maybe even a tear or two.

The next morning, a lot of my dad’s side of the family and friends of my sister came to the house for brunch. We had eggs, bacon, and French toast casserole. Of course, since it was my dad’s side of the family we also had mimosas and Bloody Marys. I did a slideshow of my sister and had it playing on the TV. One of my sister’s best friends brought her yearbooks and some old pictures of her. It was wonderful to see her cute little face.

After brunch, we all headed to the cemetery. In front of family and the very best of friends, my mom gave her tribute. She talked about why she needed to do this and what it all meant for her. Along with burying some of my sister’s ashes, she also buried Kuma, the cat, near Gram, and our other family cat, Ciaty, near my dad. She thought she would lose it as she talked about her daughter and how much she misses her every day. But she held it together for the most part and gave a wonderful speech.

I spoke next, and I am not sure I kept it together very well. But I said what I wanted to. My sister’s godmother went next and then some other friends and family shared a few memories of my little sis. There were tears and there was laughter.

My sister had the biggest heart and the most heart-warming smile. Hearing the memories of others made my heart happy. Being surrounded by our wonderful family and friends made me realize how many people’s lives she touched. I also realized even though she isn’t here anymore she will never be forgotten.

Up on the hill that Saturday morning, although sad, it was peaceful. It left me with hope for our family. Just look at the pictures that were taken on that beautiful morning. It truly shows there are so many signs from heaven and that ALL of our heavenly family was there with us that beautiful Saturday morning.

Thank you, mom, for putting this wonderful memorial weekend together. Although you will never forget and some of the pain will never go away, I hope you find some peace and closure knowing your little girl is reunited with the family and will be there waiting for you when God decides he needs you, too.